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“Santa here 11 to 1” stated the sign on the door to the neighborhood hardware store. After finding what I needed, I cruised the aisles to see what merchandise was there - and to find Santa.
Methodically I went up and down each aisle. There Santa was, snuggled among the festive Christmas gardenware like the Travelocity gnome. He was the usual Santa complete with the ill-fitting beard, red suit and twinkle in his eye.
“Santa, can you help me? If you’re taking orders for Christmas, will you bring me a boyfriend?" I asked. "And can you bring one that dances, please?”
Always politically correct “I’ll see what I can do.” was his reply. He continued, “Do you know where Farifax Station is?”
“Santa, I can find it, I’m sure. Why do you ask?” I said.
“Because I’m there on Wednesday nights with my dancing club.”
Call 2009 a Wrap
2009 was filled with activity, success, failure, surprises, change and bold moves. Many lessons were learned and ideas became new models and tools. Take time to review 2009, glean the priceless value it brought you and celebrate your successes.
1. What are your disappointments, failures, and breakdowns?
Let’s acknowledge what these are. This is an opportunity to let them go, carry them forward, or make a new promise. Make a list titled Disappointments, Failures, and Breakdowns and record them.
2. Make a second list titled Successes, Wins, and Accomplishments.
This is a chance to celebrate and own who you’ve become this year. Where did you step into your power and greatness? Don’t skimp on these. The little stuff counts. NO modesty here. IF YOU’VE DONE IT, IT ISN’T BRAGGING. Validate all your accomplishments. Look through your calendar and any notes to remind you.
3. What have you learned about yourself and your life? What insights have you gained? How have you changed?
True insights have the transformational capability of shifting you into a new, more alive place! This is the stuff that isn’t taught in MBA school. If it had been, you wouldn’t have believed it.
4. What are you grateful for?
This list might include some of the above and anything else you truly appreciate about yourself or any other area of your life. There is a basic principle. Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase. .
5. How can you celebrate to honor your 2009 accomplishments?
What would be a fun, special thing to do for yourself to celebrate your success? You’ll want to include family, friends and associates. Brains are sexy.
1. What are your disappointments, failures, and breakdowns?
Let’s acknowledge what these are. This is an opportunity to let them go, carry them forward, or make a new promise. Make a list titled Disappointments, Failures, and Breakdowns and record them.
2. Make a second list titled Successes, Wins, and Accomplishments.
This is a chance to celebrate and own who you’ve become this year. Where did you step into your power and greatness? Don’t skimp on these. The little stuff counts. NO modesty here. IF YOU’VE DONE IT, IT ISN’T BRAGGING. Validate all your accomplishments. Look through your calendar and any notes to remind you.
3. What have you learned about yourself and your life? What insights have you gained? How have you changed?
True insights have the transformational capability of shifting you into a new, more alive place! This is the stuff that isn’t taught in MBA school. If it had been, you wouldn’t have believed it.
4. What are you grateful for?
This list might include some of the above and anything else you truly appreciate about yourself or any other area of your life. There is a basic principle. Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase. .
5. How can you celebrate to honor your 2009 accomplishments?
What would be a fun, special thing to do for yourself to celebrate your success? You’ll want to include family, friends and associates. Brains are sexy.
8 things 2 say thanks for
Thanksgiving is a fond memory. Yummy food, a day in the 70s and family filled the weekend.
Three generations visiting our beloved legendary Santa carried on the tradition for one more year. There is so much to say thanks over. Here’re a few more:
1.Although a legend in my own mind, any auto accident I have will go unnoticed.
2.Little girls are beautiful in pretty dresses.
3.Colorful crisp leaves on streets and sidewalks to walk through and kick in the air.
4.Family travelers arrived at their destinations safely.
5.Santa said he’d do his best to bring me a boyfriend.
6.A long time desire to have the family at Tea at the Hotel Jefferson was fulfilled and more fun than thought.
7.My heart sings when my girls and I are together.
Three generations visiting our beloved legendary Santa carried on the tradition for one more year. There is so much to say thanks over. Here’re a few more:
1.Although a legend in my own mind, any auto accident I have will go unnoticed.
2.Little girls are beautiful in pretty dresses.
3.Colorful crisp leaves on streets and sidewalks to walk through and kick in the air.
4.Family travelers arrived at their destinations safely.
5.Santa said he’d do his best to bring me a boyfriend.
6.A long time desire to have the family at Tea at the Hotel Jefferson was fulfilled and more fun than thought.
7.My heart sings when my girls and I are together.
How goes your toilet paper?
Change was the discussion during The Retreat lunch. Carey had been to a seminar where the speaker talked about change. Doing little things voluntarily really told how changeable you are. Put your toothbrush in a different hole. Turn the toilet paper around so it goes the other way. Drive a different way to work. Hold your coffee cup with the other hand.
These tiny shifts seem trivial, don’t they? When I returned home, I turned the toilet paper around. No big deal. Holding my tea cup in a different hand felt like my shoes were on the wrong feet. No biggie. I can get used to that. And then change happened spontaneously.
I was speaking to a group of business owners and employees. The cool night air chilled the large space in the warehouse set up for the meeting. Chairs and a long table for my materials were arranged beside the loading doors. Thirty minutes after group business it was my turn to speak. 45 minutes I had to talk on communicating among the generations.
A few minutes into the talk, the lights went out. It was pitch dark.
Men raced to turn them on. The audience shed light on the scene with the camera light from a cell phone and the flame on an i-phone. The audience was merry.
I could hear talking in the far reaches of the fabulous new gigantic warehouse and it wasn’t sounding good. Suddenly a heavy door slammed open against the wall. Bobby announced they didn’t know how to turn the lights on. He asked all to grab their chair and drag it into the warm, brightly lighted beautiful showroom.
Two clever men picked up each end of the long table and carried it into the showroom, tripping down unseen steps. I followed them, clueless about adjustments I had to make.
In the showroom I found my materials, remembered where I’d left off and saw the audience spread randomly among displays of beautiful tile. By the clock, it was wrap up time. One third of the talk was delivered and the audience was ready to leave. I was living the speaker’s nightmare. Quickly in the moment I revamped the talk and the remaining 35 minutes of material were compressed to 15 minutes.
Fred gave an affirmation on the power of good communication and its value. Applause from the audience was kind and much appreciated. Talk about change! I was ready for a stiff drink!
What was the deal about changing toilet paper?
These tiny shifts seem trivial, don’t they? When I returned home, I turned the toilet paper around. No big deal. Holding my tea cup in a different hand felt like my shoes were on the wrong feet. No biggie. I can get used to that. And then change happened spontaneously.
I was speaking to a group of business owners and employees. The cool night air chilled the large space in the warehouse set up for the meeting. Chairs and a long table for my materials were arranged beside the loading doors. Thirty minutes after group business it was my turn to speak. 45 minutes I had to talk on communicating among the generations.
A few minutes into the talk, the lights went out. It was pitch dark.
Men raced to turn them on. The audience shed light on the scene with the camera light from a cell phone and the flame on an i-phone. The audience was merry.
I could hear talking in the far reaches of the fabulous new gigantic warehouse and it wasn’t sounding good. Suddenly a heavy door slammed open against the wall. Bobby announced they didn’t know how to turn the lights on. He asked all to grab their chair and drag it into the warm, brightly lighted beautiful showroom.
Two clever men picked up each end of the long table and carried it into the showroom, tripping down unseen steps. I followed them, clueless about adjustments I had to make.
In the showroom I found my materials, remembered where I’d left off and saw the audience spread randomly among displays of beautiful tile. By the clock, it was wrap up time. One third of the talk was delivered and the audience was ready to leave. I was living the speaker’s nightmare. Quickly in the moment I revamped the talk and the remaining 35 minutes of material were compressed to 15 minutes.
Fred gave an affirmation on the power of good communication and its value. Applause from the audience was kind and much appreciated. Talk about change! I was ready for a stiff drink!
What was the deal about changing toilet paper?
Happy Birthday friend
The gloomy skies were endless until I got to Afton Mtn, 70 miles from home. There was enough sun to make a shadow! My faith was renewed that the sun really hadn’t gone away. Four days of clouds sure have hidden it well.
Anyway I was on the way to see my friend Anne. Her birthday present was carefully packed and wrapped, too fragile to trust anyone else with it and I hadn’t seen her in too long.
The trip was uneventful, just long. Finally I arrived at Anne’s home, a bungalow nestled on the edge of a ravine dropping to nowhere. We had a grand time talking about all kinds of things. We laughed about how our mothers played their roles and were so unavailable and role models of how not to be. We cherished our aunts who cherished us, her Aunt Anne and my Aunt Kate, our role models for life. Our fathers scared each other. Brothers were scary and so were the houses we lived in. And on our conversations went with laughs, grins and fond memories of life long ago.
Her present was received with hugs, laughs and beach stories. We’re both beach bums at heart with sand between our toes. Her present was a perpetual beach – a castle-shaped bucket filled with sand, shells and starfish gathered from many visits to the Outer Banks.
Did I mention we’ve been friends since kindergarten?
Anyway I was on the way to see my friend Anne. Her birthday present was carefully packed and wrapped, too fragile to trust anyone else with it and I hadn’t seen her in too long.
The trip was uneventful, just long. Finally I arrived at Anne’s home, a bungalow nestled on the edge of a ravine dropping to nowhere. We had a grand time talking about all kinds of things. We laughed about how our mothers played their roles and were so unavailable and role models of how not to be. We cherished our aunts who cherished us, her Aunt Anne and my Aunt Kate, our role models for life. Our fathers scared each other. Brothers were scary and so were the houses we lived in. And on our conversations went with laughs, grins and fond memories of life long ago.
Her present was received with hugs, laughs and beach stories. We’re both beach bums at heart with sand between our toes. Her present was a perpetual beach – a castle-shaped bucket filled with sand, shells and starfish gathered from many visits to the Outer Banks.
Did I mention we’ve been friends since kindergarten?
Handling Stress in Stressful Times
When a summertime beach lover gets a job in Daytona, life is sweet. Imagine getting paid to speak at a beautiful hotel on the oceanfront in October. Weather is clear and 80+ degrees. The beach is hard and wide - especially at low tide.
Today's Daytona 500 NASCAR race started right here. Finishing before the tide came in was always a challenge.
The warm water beckoned. Dodging kids on bicycle choppers I made my way to the water. Crabs and minnows fled by my steps through it to weak waves. Surf and boogie boards are tied to a variety of surfers. My fave is a tall bald headed guy sporting a massive beer belly. Altho' at least 55 yrs. old, he's only 24 in his mind.
Lounging now on the chaise is the best viewing on the beach. It's time to handle stress in stressful times by checking out the inside of my eyelids. Did I mention that I was speaking on stress?
Today's Daytona 500 NASCAR race started right here. Finishing before the tide came in was always a challenge.
The warm water beckoned. Dodging kids on bicycle choppers I made my way to the water. Crabs and minnows fled by my steps through it to weak waves. Surf and boogie boards are tied to a variety of surfers. My fave is a tall bald headed guy sporting a massive beer belly. Altho' at least 55 yrs. old, he's only 24 in his mind.
Lounging now on the chaise is the best viewing on the beach. It's time to handle stress in stressful times by checking out the inside of my eyelids. Did I mention that I was speaking on stress?
There is no such thing as work life balance.
Headlines about work life balance scream what every woman wants. Surveys affirm work life balance is among the top 3 challenges for professional women. Work life balance is as individual as each woman. What works for one won’t work for another.
Work life balance is a myth. There is only life balance. What a concept! Think about it.
In the total world of your life there are many parts besides work. A tool I give coaching clients is a circle divided into 8 parts representing family, career, fun, finances, etc. Work is only one of the segments.
How do you know when life is out of whack? Some signs are missing doing things you used to do, working too much of your life and being tired all the time. If you’re getting sick, you could be burned out. You can be crispy around the edges or cooked thoroughly. Your body will make you stop because it will stop.
Several years ago I was spending the month of March in China. I didn’t want to come home to unfinished home renovations or tax preparation. So I spent January and February finishing renovations, doing taxes and working, of course. Because I knew they were short term goals I was committed to executing them. If an invitation came up, I accepted it if it didn’t interfere with the final outcome.
Sound unbalanced? For those two months it was perfect balance for me. My goal was short term and doable with focus. And a month in China was a fabulous reward. Coming home with those projects behind me was exhilarating.
Balance is like standing on one foot. It’s changing and adjusting regularly to what works. You really do know when your life isn’t working. What do you do then?
• Pay attention to what your body and family are telling you.
• Hire a coach.
• Get a friend to help you make tiny changes.
• Plan some fun rewards – like a foot massage, time out to read, etc.
• Take one small step toward what’s missing.
• Reward yourself everyday by doing something nice for you.
Changing habits is hard especially when you just gradually slid into them. Remember balance is what you decide it is. Have fun and enjoy your rewards.
Work life balance is a myth. There is only life balance. What a concept! Think about it.
In the total world of your life there are many parts besides work. A tool I give coaching clients is a circle divided into 8 parts representing family, career, fun, finances, etc. Work is only one of the segments.
How do you know when life is out of whack? Some signs are missing doing things you used to do, working too much of your life and being tired all the time. If you’re getting sick, you could be burned out. You can be crispy around the edges or cooked thoroughly. Your body will make you stop because it will stop.
Several years ago I was spending the month of March in China. I didn’t want to come home to unfinished home renovations or tax preparation. So I spent January and February finishing renovations, doing taxes and working, of course. Because I knew they were short term goals I was committed to executing them. If an invitation came up, I accepted it if it didn’t interfere with the final outcome.
Sound unbalanced? For those two months it was perfect balance for me. My goal was short term and doable with focus. And a month in China was a fabulous reward. Coming home with those projects behind me was exhilarating.
Balance is like standing on one foot. It’s changing and adjusting regularly to what works. You really do know when your life isn’t working. What do you do then?
• Pay attention to what your body and family are telling you.
• Hire a coach.
• Get a friend to help you make tiny changes.
• Plan some fun rewards – like a foot massage, time out to read, etc.
• Take one small step toward what’s missing.
• Reward yourself everyday by doing something nice for you.
Changing habits is hard especially when you just gradually slid into them. Remember balance is what you decide it is. Have fun and enjoy your rewards.
Ten Ways to Shift from Summer to Fall
Summer is my fave season. There’s a freedom in the air ~ altho’ hot ~ that says travel, a lighter flavor to foods, swimming, reading on the beach. My early Sept. birthday signals for me more than a year of good living. It means time to shift rhythms, start school, put flip flops away, and get ready for cool temperatures, nature’s tree color show and Monday night football. To help you ease into this transition here are 10 ideas.
• Wear a long sleeve blouse with shorts.
• Turn the AC off and open the windows and doors.
• Change out the tired summer annuals in your garden with bright fall mums.
• Open the sun roof in your car and put the windows down.
• Have grilled cheese sandwich and soup for lunch.
• Plan a 4 day get away to see foliage in October.
• Use orange and yellow paper for memos and copies at the office.
• Put together a new outfit from all the clothes you put away last spring.
• Put a bouquet of fresh fall flowers on your desk at work.
• Entertain outside in the cool evening air.
• Get back to the gym.
• Make plans with a new friend to do something you haven’t done before.
• Take a class on something you need to know for your career.
BONUS: Make your reservation for the Smart Woman’s Club Birthday Bash on Sept. 29 here.
COACHES DARE: Have fun challenging a friend to pick one and do it before you do. Let me know how you do.
• Wear a long sleeve blouse with shorts.
• Turn the AC off and open the windows and doors.
• Change out the tired summer annuals in your garden with bright fall mums.
• Open the sun roof in your car and put the windows down.
• Have grilled cheese sandwich and soup for lunch.
• Plan a 4 day get away to see foliage in October.
• Use orange and yellow paper for memos and copies at the office.
• Put together a new outfit from all the clothes you put away last spring.
• Put a bouquet of fresh fall flowers on your desk at work.
• Entertain outside in the cool evening air.
• Get back to the gym.
• Make plans with a new friend to do something you haven’t done before.
• Take a class on something you need to know for your career.
BONUS: Make your reservation for the Smart Woman’s Club Birthday Bash on Sept. 29 here.
COACHES DARE: Have fun challenging a friend to pick one and do it before you do. Let me know how you do.
Saying YES to Life
Writing the book is a project of untold proportions. Just when I think a chapter’s finished, another point comes up to be included. The last chapter is Smart Women Say YES to Life. So I’m going to tell about Beverly Morano, a mother who ‘jumped on a grenade’ because her daughter, Sarah Murray, asked her. It concerns Black Dog, a savvy, rouge with dreadlocks who first made headlines in Richmond about 9 years ago.
Black Dog evaded dog catchers and city officials trying to catch him. As officials’ attempts were reported daily, fans in the area cheered him on. Everyone loves a winner, especially when it’s a ‘dumb’ animal against authorities.
He 'walked' frequently with me ~ at a distance. Attempts to befriend him were met with loving, kind eyes as he stood stone still or backed up as I stepped closer. That was the Black Dog way ~ you can see me and you're not touching me.
Sarah Murray was instrumental in bringing attention to the city’s pursuit 9 years ago. She and neighbors created T shirts noting his success with proceeds going into a fund to care for him should he need it.
Sadly, Black Dog was killed July 2. It was a blow to the community who reported sightings on his Facebook page and among neighbors. You can read about him at http://tinyurl.com/lesoxk.
When a few fans decided to memorialize him with another shirt using funds Black Dog never used, Sarah asked her mother, Beverly, to take on the project of taking and filling orders.
I called Beverly to order my shirt and met a smart women saying yes to life. She also kept food and shelter available for Black Dog when he chose to use it. She shared stories of her experiences with Black Dog ‘walking’ with her and her family. With no idea of what she was getting into, she said yes and ‘jumped on a grenade’.
Beverly has talked to fans in FL and a judge in western VA who gave his chamber’s number to call when his shirt comes. The second round of shirts are in progress and she’s having much fun talking to Black Dog fans. Bev is saying YES to life.
Have to go now and get my shirt that just arrived. I get to meet smart woman Beverly Morano, whose kitchen is filled with Black Dog shirts.
Black Dog evaded dog catchers and city officials trying to catch him. As officials’ attempts were reported daily, fans in the area cheered him on. Everyone loves a winner, especially when it’s a ‘dumb’ animal against authorities.
He 'walked' frequently with me ~ at a distance. Attempts to befriend him were met with loving, kind eyes as he stood stone still or backed up as I stepped closer. That was the Black Dog way ~ you can see me and you're not touching me.
Sarah Murray was instrumental in bringing attention to the city’s pursuit 9 years ago. She and neighbors created T shirts noting his success with proceeds going into a fund to care for him should he need it.
Sadly, Black Dog was killed July 2. It was a blow to the community who reported sightings on his Facebook page and among neighbors. You can read about him at http://tinyurl.com/lesoxk.
When a few fans decided to memorialize him with another shirt using funds Black Dog never used, Sarah asked her mother, Beverly, to take on the project of taking and filling orders.
I called Beverly to order my shirt and met a smart women saying yes to life. She also kept food and shelter available for Black Dog when he chose to use it. She shared stories of her experiences with Black Dog ‘walking’ with her and her family. With no idea of what she was getting into, she said yes and ‘jumped on a grenade’.
Beverly has talked to fans in FL and a judge in western VA who gave his chamber’s number to call when his shirt comes. The second round of shirts are in progress and she’s having much fun talking to Black Dog fans. Bev is saying YES to life.
Have to go now and get my shirt that just arrived. I get to meet smart woman Beverly Morano, whose kitchen is filled with Black Dog shirts.
What Bra Sizes Really Mean
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why or couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is time to be informed! From the ethers of the internet the mystery is solved.
{A} = Almost Boobs
{B} = Barely there
{C} = Can't Complain!
{D} = Dang!
{DD}= Double dang!
{E} = Enormous
{F}= Fake
{G}= Get a Reduction
{H}= Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
{A} = Almost Boobs
{B} = Barely there
{C} = Can't Complain!
{D} = Dang!
{DD}= Double dang!
{E} = Enormous
{F}= Fake
{G}= Get a Reduction
{H}= Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
Perpetual Attitude Adjuster
“We seem to be running out of steam. This whole thing is going on longer than anyone thought. We have to keep up our spirits. We have to live with gratitude for what we have. “ the speaker said. The audience clapped and cheered in agreement.
Gratitude goes a long way. People ask how I stay so cheerful and optimistic. It’s so simple. It takes no more than 5 minutes at bedtime. Here’s my secret:
I’m grateful for all I have. I keep a gratitude journal that reminds me of the bounty and blessings filling my life. Here’s how it works.
Get a book with blank or lined pages. Pick out one that makes you feel good and smile. Target has lovely ones. On the first page write a favorite quote or saying, the date and add "my gratitude journal' to it.
Every evening review your day. I begin the review with waking up in the morning to birds singing and go through my day in my head to being ready to write down my gratitudes. I recall what happened, phone calls, unpleasant and pleasant conversations, surprises, nice things that people do for me, random acts of kindness. You get the picture. Looking over your calendar will help you.
Then write down at least 5 things you're grateful for. Each day I write different things to keep me mindful of how much is wonderful.
On a hotterthanheck Sunday a friend came over and we hung out at the pool. My entries for that day read this way: hanging out at the pool with Hugh, being treated to lunch, ready for tomorrow’s sales calls, good conversation with neighbors, and reading well at church. They read like a tweet - sound bites. If you want to write more, do.
I have another short column with GG at the top. It’s for God’s grace – those sweet ‘out of the blue’ things that happen. Being treated to lunch, using a float, phone call from a friend I’m thinking about. This keeps me remembering that God is busy helping me.
Over time it becomes a diary as you review daily entries. My journal lives on my bedside table with a favorite pen. Before I turn out my light at night, I make my entries. Going to bed focused on what’s right and well in my world makes for good and restful sleep.
Keep your journal any way you like so it reflects you. You’ll see it evolve as your gratitude increases.
A book, a pen, and 5 minutes make a wonderful attitude adjustor. My secret is out.
COACHES CHALLENGE: Begin to write down what you’re grateful for. Make them different each day. Share one or two with me on Facebook @ The Smart Woman’s Club fan page and Twitter @thesmartwoman. Let’s get a gratitude stream going.
Gratitude goes a long way. People ask how I stay so cheerful and optimistic. It’s so simple. It takes no more than 5 minutes at bedtime. Here’s my secret:
I’m grateful for all I have. I keep a gratitude journal that reminds me of the bounty and blessings filling my life. Here’s how it works.
Get a book with blank or lined pages. Pick out one that makes you feel good and smile. Target has lovely ones. On the first page write a favorite quote or saying, the date and add "my gratitude journal' to it.
Every evening review your day. I begin the review with waking up in the morning to birds singing and go through my day in my head to being ready to write down my gratitudes. I recall what happened, phone calls, unpleasant and pleasant conversations, surprises, nice things that people do for me, random acts of kindness. You get the picture. Looking over your calendar will help you.
Then write down at least 5 things you're grateful for. Each day I write different things to keep me mindful of how much is wonderful.
On a hotterthanheck Sunday a friend came over and we hung out at the pool. My entries for that day read this way: hanging out at the pool with Hugh, being treated to lunch, ready for tomorrow’s sales calls, good conversation with neighbors, and reading well at church. They read like a tweet - sound bites. If you want to write more, do.
I have another short column with GG at the top. It’s for God’s grace – those sweet ‘out of the blue’ things that happen. Being treated to lunch, using a float, phone call from a friend I’m thinking about. This keeps me remembering that God is busy helping me.
Over time it becomes a diary as you review daily entries. My journal lives on my bedside table with a favorite pen. Before I turn out my light at night, I make my entries. Going to bed focused on what’s right and well in my world makes for good and restful sleep.
Keep your journal any way you like so it reflects you. You’ll see it evolve as your gratitude increases.
A book, a pen, and 5 minutes make a wonderful attitude adjustor. My secret is out.
COACHES CHALLENGE: Begin to write down what you’re grateful for. Make them different each day. Share one or two with me on Facebook @ The Smart Woman’s Club fan page and Twitter @thesmartwoman. Let’s get a gratitude stream going.
Turn objections around
How many times have you heard sentences like this?
"I'd like to hear more about your idea, but I haven't got time right now." "I think you're a really great person, but I'm not ready for a relationship." "It sounds great, but I can't afford it."
Credit goes to John McWhirter, a UK-based NLP trainer, and Michael Neill for this technique to turn objections around.
Most of us have learned to disregard whatever comes before the "but" and take the second half of the sentence as the speakers "actual" message. But what happens if you reverse the sentence, using the "but" as the pivot point, and then take things a step further in the direction we want them to go?
Try reading the following examples out loud, emphasizing the last phrase: "So you haven't got time right now, but you'd love to hear more about this? When would be a better time to set up a meeting?" "Let me see... you're not ready for a relationship, but you think I'm a really great person? How about if we just hang out together for a while?" "If I'm understanding you, you can't afford it, but it sounds great? Well if it sounds great, let's see if we can't sort out a way for you to afford it!"
Today's Experiment:
1. Complete the following sentence stems. You may complete each one as many different ways as you would like.
a. I want to be successful, but...
b. I want to be healthy, but...
c. I want to exercise, but...
2. Choose your favorite completions from part one. Reverse the "but", and sell yourself on a new belief! Example:
a. I want to have more money, but I don't want to do more work.
b. I don't want to do more work, but I do want to have more money. What are twenty things I could do to make more money with less work?
Keep on being smart!
"I'd like to hear more about your idea, but I haven't got time right now." "I think you're a really great person, but I'm not ready for a relationship." "It sounds great, but I can't afford it."
Credit goes to John McWhirter, a UK-based NLP trainer, and Michael Neill for this technique to turn objections around.
Most of us have learned to disregard whatever comes before the "but" and take the second half of the sentence as the speakers "actual" message. But what happens if you reverse the sentence, using the "but" as the pivot point, and then take things a step further in the direction we want them to go?
Try reading the following examples out loud, emphasizing the last phrase: "So you haven't got time right now, but you'd love to hear more about this? When would be a better time to set up a meeting?" "Let me see... you're not ready for a relationship, but you think I'm a really great person? How about if we just hang out together for a while?" "If I'm understanding you, you can't afford it, but it sounds great? Well if it sounds great, let's see if we can't sort out a way for you to afford it!"
Today's Experiment:
1. Complete the following sentence stems. You may complete each one as many different ways as you would like.
a. I want to be successful, but...
b. I want to be healthy, but...
c. I want to exercise, but...
2. Choose your favorite completions from part one. Reverse the "but", and sell yourself on a new belief! Example:
a. I want to have more money, but I don't want to do more work.
b. I don't want to do more work, but I do want to have more money. What are twenty things I could do to make more money with less work?
Keep on being smart!
Fall Classes for Women
FALL CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
Registration must be completed by Tuesday, July 31, 2009
NOTE: Due to complexity and difficult level of contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants max.
Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2: Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hrs.
Class 3: Fundamental Differences between a Purse and a Suitcase Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 4: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.
Class 5: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hrs.
Class 6: Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT! Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hrs.
Class 7: The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Includes live demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Thanks to Susie Galvez for sending this class schedule. Be sure to sign up now.
Registration must be completed by Tuesday, July 31, 2009
NOTE: Due to complexity and difficult level of contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants max.
Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2: Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hrs.
Class 3: Fundamental Differences between a Purse and a Suitcase Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 4: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.
Class 5: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hrs.
Class 6: Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT! Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hrs.
Class 7: The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Includes live demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Thanks to Susie Galvez for sending this class schedule. Be sure to sign up now.
12 Random Summertime Things to Do
Summer, my fave season, is raging. July is here and there are so many cool, literally and figuratively, things yet to do. Long days bring neighbors out to sit on the stoop, sip wine and chat. For some the doldrums are setting in. Here're are 12 random things to do.
Catch fireflies.
Lie on your back and look at the night sky.
Go swimming or at least wade in the water.
Eat a picnic lunch during your work day under a shady tree.
Say NO.
Wear your funnest summer outfit.
Take a day trip to a new place.
Eat food you haven't tasted before.
Enjoy a glass of wine on the stoop with a neighbor.
Turn your Balckberry/I-phone off for 30 minutes.
Go barefoot in fresh cut grass.
Smile and wave at a stranger.
COACHES DARE: Do 2 things within 7 days.
Catch fireflies.
Lie on your back and look at the night sky.
Go swimming or at least wade in the water.
Eat a picnic lunch during your work day under a shady tree.
Say NO.
Wear your funnest summer outfit.
Take a day trip to a new place.
Eat food you haven't tasted before.
Enjoy a glass of wine on the stoop with a neighbor.
Turn your Balckberry/I-phone off for 30 minutes.
Go barefoot in fresh cut grass.
Smile and wave at a stranger.
COACHES DARE: Do 2 things within 7 days.
Creating an A+ Image in a D- Economy
The Smart Woman's Club event Creating an A+ Image in a D- Economy was loaded with fun, smart women and tips for looking good and professional to make more money, have a better career and be taken seriously. Don't leave out increasing confidence and self esteem.
Here are some tips for your professional image from Suzanne Tongue with Style Capital (www.stylecapital.co.uk).
Clothes should fit immaculately. If you’re curvy, fabrics should lightly follow your curves, not cling or look stiff/boxy.
Think about whether bare legs are appropriate in your corporate culture/for your position.
Clothes should be neat, pressed, clean and repaired.
Sleeveless tops can detract from professionalism – they need to fit perfectly, be of superb quality and have a ‘third’ piece.
Accessories (belts, pens, handbags, watches, eyeglasses, jewelry, even umbrellas) add polish to business casual. So does makeup.
Shoes make or break. Even if casual, keep them polished, clean and beautiful.
No printed T-shirts. Ever!
And finally –do you really want to wear jeans to work?
Here are some tips for your professional image from Suzanne Tongue with Style Capital (www.stylecapital.co.uk).
Clothes should fit immaculately. If you’re curvy, fabrics should lightly follow your curves, not cling or look stiff/boxy.
Think about whether bare legs are appropriate in your corporate culture/for your position.
Clothes should be neat, pressed, clean and repaired.
Sleeveless tops can detract from professionalism – they need to fit perfectly, be of superb quality and have a ‘third’ piece.
Accessories (belts, pens, handbags, watches, eyeglasses, jewelry, even umbrellas) add polish to business casual. So does makeup.
Shoes make or break. Even if casual, keep them polished, clean and beautiful.
No printed T-shirts. Ever!
And finally –do you really want to wear jeans to work?
Too much to do to change
The Smart Woman’s Club Stimulus Plan is all about helping you thrive in your career, love life and celebrate how wonderful you are. Doing that more helps you and the whole country recover from lousy news and economy taking up too much air time and space.
In order to do that some things have to change ~ like you. “Yikes! Oh no! I’ve got too much to do to change.” your inner voice, the little witch, screams.
You get in your way every day at least once. You said yes when you wanted to say no. Last week Helen was telling about an assignment her civic club wanted her to do. She said OK. Now she’s wondering how she’ll find time to do it because she couldn’t say no.
Self defeating behaviors like that are stressful. Other stressing behaviors are being the only person who can do the job, working too many hours, and being too responsible. Don’t forget being the perfectionist or analyzing things to death.
You’re getting something out of these behaviors or you wouldn’t do them. They feed your need, take all your time, rob you of any balance in life, and keep you from playing in life’s sandbox. Too much of any one can make you sick.
I’m going to challenge your thinking.
If you’re the only one to do the job, who does it when suddenly you aren’t there? Clara is the ‘only one’ in the school that handles student financing and graduation. Her sister was critically injured in an accident causing Clara to be at her bedside 24/7. The school told her they’d handle her work so she could be with her sister.
Time is a finite quantity. Do you expect to give your life to your company? Business owners say “Yes I do.” Employees say “I have done that.” Kathi worked all the time. Home was for sleeping, eating and passing husband John like a ship in the night. Kathi wanted a life with John and couldn’t figure out how to extricate herself from work. When John was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, she figured it out.
Are you the responsible one, always in charge? You have to be responsible so you get built up helping. Co-workers self esteem sinks because you don’t let them do it and learn how. Sally, the office 'mother', took a 2 week vacation. Sally was buried with work when she returned as her team ‘couldn’t do it'.
Does that job have to be done perfectly? You miss deadlines, keep everyone from meeting their deadlines and otherwise block progress. Jane, the perfectionista, is given very small tasks and over looked for promotion because she doesn’t finish jobs on time.
Taking a risk causes you to hyperventilate. More data is needed to make the right decision. Mary wanted a new car, the perfect one. For one year she studied cars, making lists of pros and cons. Then models changed and she started all over. She admits she’d never do that again.
Were you shaking your head YES as you read along? Was your body getting hot as your guilt rose? Was your witch saying “That’s you. You can’t change. Who would do what you do as well? What are you thinking?” Peggy Collins book HELP IS NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD is a must read for you if you said yes.
Self defeating behaviors can be changed ~ like your hair color. It’s a choice. Where to start? Pick one causing the most stress and heartburn. Then begin.
COACHES DARE: Say NO at least once a day. Please let me know how it goes. If you want some reinforcement, I'm glad to be your accountability buddy.
In order to do that some things have to change ~ like you. “Yikes! Oh no! I’ve got too much to do to change.” your inner voice, the little witch, screams.
You get in your way every day at least once. You said yes when you wanted to say no. Last week Helen was telling about an assignment her civic club wanted her to do. She said OK. Now she’s wondering how she’ll find time to do it because she couldn’t say no.
Self defeating behaviors like that are stressful. Other stressing behaviors are being the only person who can do the job, working too many hours, and being too responsible. Don’t forget being the perfectionist or analyzing things to death.
You’re getting something out of these behaviors or you wouldn’t do them. They feed your need, take all your time, rob you of any balance in life, and keep you from playing in life’s sandbox. Too much of any one can make you sick.
I’m going to challenge your thinking.
If you’re the only one to do the job, who does it when suddenly you aren’t there? Clara is the ‘only one’ in the school that handles student financing and graduation. Her sister was critically injured in an accident causing Clara to be at her bedside 24/7. The school told her they’d handle her work so she could be with her sister.
Time is a finite quantity. Do you expect to give your life to your company? Business owners say “Yes I do.” Employees say “I have done that.” Kathi worked all the time. Home was for sleeping, eating and passing husband John like a ship in the night. Kathi wanted a life with John and couldn’t figure out how to extricate herself from work. When John was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, she figured it out.
Are you the responsible one, always in charge? You have to be responsible so you get built up helping. Co-workers self esteem sinks because you don’t let them do it and learn how. Sally, the office 'mother', took a 2 week vacation. Sally was buried with work when she returned as her team ‘couldn’t do it'.
Does that job have to be done perfectly? You miss deadlines, keep everyone from meeting their deadlines and otherwise block progress. Jane, the perfectionista, is given very small tasks and over looked for promotion because she doesn’t finish jobs on time.
Taking a risk causes you to hyperventilate. More data is needed to make the right decision. Mary wanted a new car, the perfect one. For one year she studied cars, making lists of pros and cons. Then models changed and she started all over. She admits she’d never do that again.
Were you shaking your head YES as you read along? Was your body getting hot as your guilt rose? Was your witch saying “That’s you. You can’t change. Who would do what you do as well? What are you thinking?” Peggy Collins book HELP IS NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD is a must read for you if you said yes.
Self defeating behaviors can be changed ~ like your hair color. It’s a choice. Where to start? Pick one causing the most stress and heartburn. Then begin.
COACHES DARE: Say NO at least once a day. Please let me know how it goes. If you want some reinforcement, I'm glad to be your accountability buddy.
The Sites You've Seen Contest
To celebrate the Smart Woman’s Stimulus Plan we’re looking for your best image story ~ be it boldly bad or beautiful. Tell us the sites you’ve seen on women and men.
Don’t hold back. Tell us how a personal appearance ~ aka image ~ helps loving life, thriving professionally and celebrating with confidence.
Share it by June 30. The winner will be announced at Creating An A+ Image in a D- Economy on July 1. You can register for that at www.smartwomansclub.com/events.asp.
Thanks for contributing to the Smart Woman’s Club Stimulus Plan.
Don’t hold back. Tell us how a personal appearance ~ aka image ~ helps loving life, thriving professionally and celebrating with confidence.
Share it by June 30. The winner will be announced at Creating An A+ Image in a D- Economy on July 1. You can register for that at www.smartwomansclub.com/events.asp.
Thanks for contributing to the Smart Woman’s Club Stimulus Plan.
Adventures in Asking
“Business isn’t very good now.” Eileen said. “I don’t seem to be able to close the sale. I can’t ask for the order.”
How come she can’t ask for business? Where does that come from? How many times have you wanted to ask and not?
Last week I was in the jewelry store getting some jewelry repaired. In a small bag were several pieces of jewelry to sell. In my mind this conversation was going on about should I, shouldn’t I ask the jeweler about buying these pieces. I decided I had nothing to loose by asking. I had taken time to gather those pieces since I’d thought about selling them for years. About the same time, the jeweler said “What do you have in the bag?”
In my mind I chuckled because of my reluctance to ask, about the energy used in that mental conversation with that voice only I could hear about to derail my plan. And I was mad with me for entertaining that mental conversation.
My hesitation was all about doing as I was taught at 3 years old - asking is impolite and rude. (Heaven forbid a southern women should be any of those.) I didn’t want to appear rude, needy or who knows what else that’s unlike a Southern woman, bless her heart. The need was to clean out old jewelry and bring joy to someone that would give it a new loving home.
Children ask for everything and anything they want with total abandon, without hesitation, without thought other than I want it. Loving parents, teaching girls to be “good” and save them from embarrassing themselves, drill them "Don’t ask for what you want when you want it."
Wanting to please, children stop asking. And it carries into adulthood.
This is especially true for women. After all, we want to be good girls, please our parents and be liked. We become ‘nice’ girls. We tell ourselves that people will figure out what we want by reading our minds if we hint enough. We wish and live with disappointment because all those crystal balls are too foggy to read. We settle.
At the Smart Women’s Retreat asking and lack of asking was discussed. The women decided they would practice asking. They went into town and asked for things. When they returned from town, they had all sorts of goodies: a cute water glass, napkins, fancy menu, jelly beans, souvenirs. Tales and howls were plentiful about what happened when they asked for silly things, big things and how friendly everyone was when they asked for help.
Lisa summed their experience up when she said “Never was asking so much fun and hard at the same time. We learned to egg each other on. We enjoyed the successes each time one of us asked. We got over ourselves.”
COACHES CHALLENGE: Ask for something 20 times a day for 5 days in a row. It’s not important that you want everything you ask for. It’s about strengthening your asking muscle like the Retreat women. Email me at smokie@smartwomansclub.com with your results. Smart women want to hear your experiences.
How come she can’t ask for business? Where does that come from? How many times have you wanted to ask and not?
Last week I was in the jewelry store getting some jewelry repaired. In a small bag were several pieces of jewelry to sell. In my mind this conversation was going on about should I, shouldn’t I ask the jeweler about buying these pieces. I decided I had nothing to loose by asking. I had taken time to gather those pieces since I’d thought about selling them for years. About the same time, the jeweler said “What do you have in the bag?”
In my mind I chuckled because of my reluctance to ask, about the energy used in that mental conversation with that voice only I could hear about to derail my plan. And I was mad with me for entertaining that mental conversation.
My hesitation was all about doing as I was taught at 3 years old - asking is impolite and rude. (Heaven forbid a southern women should be any of those.) I didn’t want to appear rude, needy or who knows what else that’s unlike a Southern woman, bless her heart. The need was to clean out old jewelry and bring joy to someone that would give it a new loving home.
Children ask for everything and anything they want with total abandon, without hesitation, without thought other than I want it. Loving parents, teaching girls to be “good” and save them from embarrassing themselves, drill them "Don’t ask for what you want when you want it."
Wanting to please, children stop asking. And it carries into adulthood.
This is especially true for women. After all, we want to be good girls, please our parents and be liked. We become ‘nice’ girls. We tell ourselves that people will figure out what we want by reading our minds if we hint enough. We wish and live with disappointment because all those crystal balls are too foggy to read. We settle.
At the Smart Women’s Retreat asking and lack of asking was discussed. The women decided they would practice asking. They went into town and asked for things. When they returned from town, they had all sorts of goodies: a cute water glass, napkins, fancy menu, jelly beans, souvenirs. Tales and howls were plentiful about what happened when they asked for silly things, big things and how friendly everyone was when they asked for help.
Lisa summed their experience up when she said “Never was asking so much fun and hard at the same time. We learned to egg each other on. We enjoyed the successes each time one of us asked. We got over ourselves.”
COACHES CHALLENGE: Ask for something 20 times a day for 5 days in a row. It’s not important that you want everything you ask for. It’s about strengthening your asking muscle like the Retreat women. Email me at smokie@smartwomansclub.com with your results. Smart women want to hear your experiences.
Do you dare to bare arms?
“Michelle has the right to bear arms.” Prez O said at the Press Dinner. This fund raiser is also a fun raiser with quips flying to and from those on the right and the left. In DC there is buzz about Michelle and her arms. Well sculpted and toned are accurate descriptors. She is a model to all of us about self care and its benefits. Personally I think she bench presses Barack and the girls each day. If you got it, flaunt it has been the feminine mantra since Eve was in the garden with Adam.
Have Michelle’s arms gotten you to the gym or in action about your arms in some way?
Thank you to a reader/friend that brought to my attention how I made over Susan Boyles. I changed her name. It was as easy as hitting a few keys on the keyboard naming her Sarah! My apologies to Susan.
Have Michelle’s arms gotten you to the gym or in action about your arms in some way?
Thank you to a reader/friend that brought to my attention how I made over Susan Boyles. I changed her name. It was as easy as hitting a few keys on the keyboard naming her Sarah! My apologies to Susan.
3 Keys to Coping When Your World Gets Rocked - Part 2
The stock market creates a frenzy daily. Your neighbor just lost her job. Mama’s gravely ill. Your world’s rocked. Another storm just hit. Just when you wonder what else can happen, dag gone it does.
A saying is "God never gives you more than you can handle." Another one is "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger." You’ve had enough. “God, quit this. Send help. “ you scream.
One day was especially hard during my divorce. Pain, the emotional kind, racked my entire being. Crying on the phone to friend Faith I shouted through tears “I don’t want to be stronger. I'm stong enough. I want it to end.”
Faith was a huge support during that time. Support, knowing about your finances and staying optimistic are 3 keys previously discussed. Three more keys to coping when your world gets rocked can make a difference to you and everyone around you.
The most important key is taking care of yourself. Sound radical? Women are wizards at putting everyone else first. When your world gets rocked, make taking care of yourself the center of your Universe. ‘Yea, yea, that’s easy for you to say’ you’re thinking.
I know from experience that no one will take better care of you than you can. You just need to develop that muscle, create that habit. There’s a big difference between self care and being selfish – a topic for another time. Eating well, resting when you’re tired and exercising your body with more than going to the car, running errands and walking around the house are good beginnings.
Controlling what comes into your environment is another key. Environment is defined as anywhere you are – the office, home, yard, grocery store. Where you have control is what comes into your home and car. News comes via television, radio, computer, magazines, newspapers, blackberrys. Any item that has a power button can be turned off. Keeping the bad news out, or at a minimum, keeps your energy up and your health better. If something happens that you really need to know, you’ll find out. Now’s the time to play those CDs that you haven’t heard in a long time. Last week really was National Turn Off The TV Week, no kidding.
Related to that is how much you talk about good news and positive things. How much do you talk about bad news? This morning a friend told a sad story about a young family racked with illness and bad times. I felt myself getting anxious for it to end. I didn’t want that conversation zapping my energy. Pay attention and monitor how you feel as you’re talking. You can control your part of the conversation.
They’re choices you make. Just as you choose what you’re wearing or having for lunch, you choose what you do, with whom, how and when. For a moment reflect on your day and the choices you’ve made already. Are they getting you what you want? Do they empower you? Or do they hold you back, waste time and money? How have you used your power? Then decide what you want to have happen. Make choices that make it happen. Choose a positive attitude. Choose success. You’re on the road to big things.
Nature has a daily routine with the sun setting the pace for the day to begin when it rises and to wind down when it sets. Daily activities are planned around that. You have a routine of some kind. When I was out of work, I had no routine. No work meant no reason to get up. I was lost. My stomach wanting food was the only regulator I had. Lack of routine was messing me up. I decided I needed a routine because I really missed it. What a difference it made. I was in sync with the world again. A routine can make the same difference for you. Getting up at the same time every day can change your life.
Creating and following a routine, making good choices and taking care of yourself are three more ways to cope during hard times. Your family and friends are supporting you. You can make smart choices that give you power. You feel good about yourself.
Staying positive is easier when you have control over yourself and what you do. Positive people attract the best people and opportunities. Like Rick Warren says in the Purpose Driven Life “Between now and this time tomorrow, you’ll give your life to something.” What will you give your life to?
COACHES CHALLENGE: Do something nice for yourself each and every day.
© Copyright 2009 by Smokie Sizemore, CPCC. You may include this article in your e-zine , website or distribute it to others provided you include the copyright statement and bio information tag found at the end of this article. Smokie Sizemore, CPCC, speaker and founder of the Smart Woman’s Club, is an expert on the authentic woman. She coaches professional women to thrive in their careers, and have the life they want. For more information visit www.smartwomansclub.com.
A saying is "God never gives you more than you can handle." Another one is "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger." You’ve had enough. “God, quit this. Send help. “ you scream.
One day was especially hard during my divorce. Pain, the emotional kind, racked my entire being. Crying on the phone to friend Faith I shouted through tears “I don’t want to be stronger. I'm stong enough. I want it to end.”
Faith was a huge support during that time. Support, knowing about your finances and staying optimistic are 3 keys previously discussed. Three more keys to coping when your world gets rocked can make a difference to you and everyone around you.
The most important key is taking care of yourself. Sound radical? Women are wizards at putting everyone else first. When your world gets rocked, make taking care of yourself the center of your Universe. ‘Yea, yea, that’s easy for you to say’ you’re thinking.
I know from experience that no one will take better care of you than you can. You just need to develop that muscle, create that habit. There’s a big difference between self care and being selfish – a topic for another time. Eating well, resting when you’re tired and exercising your body with more than going to the car, running errands and walking around the house are good beginnings.
Controlling what comes into your environment is another key. Environment is defined as anywhere you are – the office, home, yard, grocery store. Where you have control is what comes into your home and car. News comes via television, radio, computer, magazines, newspapers, blackberrys. Any item that has a power button can be turned off. Keeping the bad news out, or at a minimum, keeps your energy up and your health better. If something happens that you really need to know, you’ll find out. Now’s the time to play those CDs that you haven’t heard in a long time. Last week really was National Turn Off The TV Week, no kidding.
Related to that is how much you talk about good news and positive things. How much do you talk about bad news? This morning a friend told a sad story about a young family racked with illness and bad times. I felt myself getting anxious for it to end. I didn’t want that conversation zapping my energy. Pay attention and monitor how you feel as you’re talking. You can control your part of the conversation.
They’re choices you make. Just as you choose what you’re wearing or having for lunch, you choose what you do, with whom, how and when. For a moment reflect on your day and the choices you’ve made already. Are they getting you what you want? Do they empower you? Or do they hold you back, waste time and money? How have you used your power? Then decide what you want to have happen. Make choices that make it happen. Choose a positive attitude. Choose success. You’re on the road to big things.
Nature has a daily routine with the sun setting the pace for the day to begin when it rises and to wind down when it sets. Daily activities are planned around that. You have a routine of some kind. When I was out of work, I had no routine. No work meant no reason to get up. I was lost. My stomach wanting food was the only regulator I had. Lack of routine was messing me up. I decided I needed a routine because I really missed it. What a difference it made. I was in sync with the world again. A routine can make the same difference for you. Getting up at the same time every day can change your life.
Creating and following a routine, making good choices and taking care of yourself are three more ways to cope during hard times. Your family and friends are supporting you. You can make smart choices that give you power. You feel good about yourself.
Staying positive is easier when you have control over yourself and what you do. Positive people attract the best people and opportunities. Like Rick Warren says in the Purpose Driven Life “Between now and this time tomorrow, you’ll give your life to something.” What will you give your life to?
COACHES CHALLENGE: Do something nice for yourself each and every day.
© Copyright 2009 by Smokie Sizemore, CPCC. You may include this article in your e-zine , website or distribute it to others provided you include the copyright statement and bio information tag found at the end of this article. Smokie Sizemore, CPCC, speaker and founder of the Smart Woman’s Club, is an expert on the authentic woman. She coaches professional women to thrive in their careers, and have the life they want. For more information visit www.smartwomansclub.com.
Makeover for Sarah?
There is very good news. A new voice and face – heck a whole personality – has shown up and captured the air waves. Her name is Sarah Boyles. Catch her appearance on Britian’s Got Talent at www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY.
Because she wants to be a professional singer and told her mum, who died 2 years ago, that she’d do it, she did it. Funny how we'll do something for someone else that we won't do for ourselves.
She’s not your average looking svelte, glamorous siren. Quite the contrary. She’s what my kin would call ‘down home’, bless her heart.
Already in these few short weeks since her discovery, this 47 year old Scottish songstress has done some changing with footwear and attire. If you were to make Sarah over, what would you do?
Smart women want to know.
Because she wants to be a professional singer and told her mum, who died 2 years ago, that she’d do it, she did it. Funny how we'll do something for someone else that we won't do for ourselves.
She’s not your average looking svelte, glamorous siren. Quite the contrary. She’s what my kin would call ‘down home’, bless her heart.
Already in these few short weeks since her discovery, this 47 year old Scottish songstress has done some changing with footwear and attire. If you were to make Sarah over, what would you do?
Smart women want to know.
News or 5 minute phone call?
‘Cell phones must be turned off’ the sign at the lobby entrance declared.
“How nice. I won’t be subjected to ringing phones and dialog divulging TMI.” I thought.
At the check-in desk a sign said “Please limit all calls to 5 min. Thank you.”
Meanwhile live CNN was blaring and streaming the doom of the day.
Give me a 5 minute phone call, please!
“How nice. I won’t be subjected to ringing phones and dialog divulging TMI.” I thought.
At the check-in desk a sign said “Please limit all calls to 5 min. Thank you.”
Meanwhile live CNN was blaring and streaming the doom of the day.
Give me a 5 minute phone call, please!
Four Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Networking is about having links - those golden people that can lead to jobs and business. It looks easy on the surface. ostly what you see is ineffective because people are making mistakes that cancel their efforts and waste their time.
Four Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
by Jerry N. Smith
Referral business is invaluable to a small business and building a strong network is key to maximizing referrals.
The process of networking is long term, and for many business owners requires going to events and joining groups that may be uncomfortable. It also requires you to make small talk and almost always deliver your 30 second introduction, neither of which you may feel are strengths. There are some common mistakes that can decrease your effectiveness in a networking situation. The good news is that networking is a marketing skill that can be learned. There are things you can do to address these mistakes immediately.
So what are these mistakes?
1. Talking about yourself - this is a mindset issue and much of what follows is related. It may seem counter-intuitive, but successful networking relies on you talking LESS about yourself and more about the person to whom you are talking at the time. It may seem that you need to tell as many people as you can all about yourself and your business, but as we shall see, this is counterproductive.
One place you typically find a lot of self-talk is the 30 second introduction. Compiling a successful introduction takes time and effort. Often you will hear facts about the speaker's company - time in business, awards won, location and so on. Also common is a list of services they provide. The effect of this is to force the listener to decide if the services listed apply to them. Chances are they have heard similar speeches before and will tend to tune you out. Tip: make your introduction about the clients you love to serve. Say who you work with and the issues you help them with and you will get far more interest.
Lesson one therefore: Talk less about yourself
2. Selling - again, this may not seem to make sense upon first examination. Surely you are going to a networking event to find prospects and sell to them? Indeed this is a common tactic you will see. As soon as there is a whiff of interest, leap straight into "selling" mode. This is where the impression that networking events are full of sales people comes from. Most of the time this is a mistake because people hate to be sold. Your prospects have real issues for which they are searching for solutions, but they don't even know you yet. You certainly haven't established any trust with them and you need that first.
The way to avoid a selling habit is to change your mindset from finding clients, to establishing if they even have a need for your service and whether the two of you are a good "fit" for one another. To do this you need to understand the issues and challenges that your services address, and you need to ASK QUESTIONS to find out whether there is a fit with the person to whom you are speaking.
3. Failing to give value - remember establishing trust? Once you have gained the attention of your prospect, you need to establish trust with them so that they don't simply see you as another salesman, but someone to engage in further conversation. This is related to the avoidance of selling. If you are prepared to give away up to 20% of the value you give to clients, this will position you favorably as someone who is giving before expecting to get.
You might say that's all well and good, but what do you give away? This depends on your business and the service you provide but typically, information that people can use is extremely valuable. Write reports and/or tip sheets on how to address common issues your clients wrestle with and offer to send that to prospects without expecting them to buy immediately - that's important. Give of this information freely.
4. Poor follow up - networking is generally the first stage in a relationship. It may be the only conversation you have with someone if you agree there is no fit between you. Chances are that you will see them again, and you want them to remember you and what you do so they can refer you to others. Whatever you agree to do next (send that report, email them with times to get together, send them a hand written note) you must follow through. Again, you are trying to build trust. If you collect cards but can't remember what you agreed to do with them, that is worse than not meeting in the first place. Trust will be lost if you don't follow up.
These points may seem obvious but they require a particular mindset that can be summed up as follows:
Think "give" not "get" - give value freely, don't seek to gain a client on first meeting. Be inquisitive - ask questions to find out about others rather than seeking to tell them about you. Gear your message to other people's challenges - this is about them, not about you!
If you follow these simple rules you will stand out positively from all those people trying to sell!
Four Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
by Jerry N. Smith
Referral business is invaluable to a small business and building a strong network is key to maximizing referrals.
The process of networking is long term, and for many business owners requires going to events and joining groups that may be uncomfortable. It also requires you to make small talk and almost always deliver your 30 second introduction, neither of which you may feel are strengths. There are some common mistakes that can decrease your effectiveness in a networking situation. The good news is that networking is a marketing skill that can be learned. There are things you can do to address these mistakes immediately.
So what are these mistakes?
1. Talking about yourself - this is a mindset issue and much of what follows is related. It may seem counter-intuitive, but successful networking relies on you talking LESS about yourself and more about the person to whom you are talking at the time. It may seem that you need to tell as many people as you can all about yourself and your business, but as we shall see, this is counterproductive.
One place you typically find a lot of self-talk is the 30 second introduction. Compiling a successful introduction takes time and effort. Often you will hear facts about the speaker's company - time in business, awards won, location and so on. Also common is a list of services they provide. The effect of this is to force the listener to decide if the services listed apply to them. Chances are they have heard similar speeches before and will tend to tune you out. Tip: make your introduction about the clients you love to serve. Say who you work with and the issues you help them with and you will get far more interest.
Lesson one therefore: Talk less about yourself
2. Selling - again, this may not seem to make sense upon first examination. Surely you are going to a networking event to find prospects and sell to them? Indeed this is a common tactic you will see. As soon as there is a whiff of interest, leap straight into "selling" mode. This is where the impression that networking events are full of sales people comes from. Most of the time this is a mistake because people hate to be sold. Your prospects have real issues for which they are searching for solutions, but they don't even know you yet. You certainly haven't established any trust with them and you need that first.
The way to avoid a selling habit is to change your mindset from finding clients, to establishing if they even have a need for your service and whether the two of you are a good "fit" for one another. To do this you need to understand the issues and challenges that your services address, and you need to ASK QUESTIONS to find out whether there is a fit with the person to whom you are speaking.
3. Failing to give value - remember establishing trust? Once you have gained the attention of your prospect, you need to establish trust with them so that they don't simply see you as another salesman, but someone to engage in further conversation. This is related to the avoidance of selling. If you are prepared to give away up to 20% of the value you give to clients, this will position you favorably as someone who is giving before expecting to get.
You might say that's all well and good, but what do you give away? This depends on your business and the service you provide but typically, information that people can use is extremely valuable. Write reports and/or tip sheets on how to address common issues your clients wrestle with and offer to send that to prospects without expecting them to buy immediately - that's important. Give of this information freely.
4. Poor follow up - networking is generally the first stage in a relationship. It may be the only conversation you have with someone if you agree there is no fit between you. Chances are that you will see them again, and you want them to remember you and what you do so they can refer you to others. Whatever you agree to do next (send that report, email them with times to get together, send them a hand written note) you must follow through. Again, you are trying to build trust. If you collect cards but can't remember what you agreed to do with them, that is worse than not meeting in the first place. Trust will be lost if you don't follow up.
These points may seem obvious but they require a particular mindset that can be summed up as follows:
Think "give" not "get" - give value freely, don't seek to gain a client on first meeting. Be inquisitive - ask questions to find out about others rather than seeking to tell them about you. Gear your message to other people's challenges - this is about them, not about you!
If you follow these simple rules you will stand out positively from all those people trying to sell!
Penny Wise and Time Foolish
Networking takes time. Done properly your time investment brings huge rewards. Done poorly, the way most people network and how I did for years, your time is wasted, never to be regained. Read Mike Macedonio's article for insight.
Penny Wise and Time Foolish
By Mike Macedonio
Is it just me or is anyone else shaking their head at the assertion that “word-of-mouth marketing and referral marketing are FREE advertising.” Clearly, referral marketing (done properly) is a cost-effective way to get businness, but the only way I can possibly see making it FREE is to do nothing at all.
So what is the investment for referral marketing? There are two investments with building your business by referral: time and money. I’m surprised when I ask business owners how much they are investing in referral marketing and they don’t have any idea. Is it because it is so cost-effective that they don’t think it is worth budgeting or tracking? Maybe. However, I also see businesspeople turn down opportunities to get involved in networking organizations, acquire training, attend conferences or sponsor strategic alliance events for financial reasons.
What about the hidden cost? How much time are you spending networking and meeting with referral sources? What is your time worth? Often when I ask that question, I get the billable rate. Here is the simple formula I use. How much you earn, divided by how much you work. For example, if you’re making $120,000 a year working 40 hours per week, 50 weeks a year, your time is worth $60 per hour. You may be billing $150 per hour; however, after you factor in everything else you are doing, this is what your time is returning to you.
When you consider that the serious active networker will spend eight hours a week attending networking events, networking online, meeting with referral sources and giving time to activities with his network, that works out to 400 hours per year or $24,000 of time invested a year. Hmmm, that doesn’t sound like FREE to me.
Referral marketing is the most cost-effective way to grow your business. Getting the best return on your time and money requires a clear referral marketing plan. Will you be spending your time doing the right things, with the right people, in the right organizations? Investing in referral marketing knowledge will help you get the best return for your time investment. Be careful not to fall into the common trap of being penny wise and time foolish with your referral marketing. Create a budget and invest appropriately in your referral marketing.
Penny Wise and Time Foolish
By Mike Macedonio
Is it just me or is anyone else shaking their head at the assertion that “word-of-mouth marketing and referral marketing are FREE advertising.” Clearly, referral marketing (done properly) is a cost-effective way to get businness, but the only way I can possibly see making it FREE is to do nothing at all.
So what is the investment for referral marketing? There are two investments with building your business by referral: time and money. I’m surprised when I ask business owners how much they are investing in referral marketing and they don’t have any idea. Is it because it is so cost-effective that they don’t think it is worth budgeting or tracking? Maybe. However, I also see businesspeople turn down opportunities to get involved in networking organizations, acquire training, attend conferences or sponsor strategic alliance events for financial reasons.
What about the hidden cost? How much time are you spending networking and meeting with referral sources? What is your time worth? Often when I ask that question, I get the billable rate. Here is the simple formula I use. How much you earn, divided by how much you work. For example, if you’re making $120,000 a year working 40 hours per week, 50 weeks a year, your time is worth $60 per hour. You may be billing $150 per hour; however, after you factor in everything else you are doing, this is what your time is returning to you.
When you consider that the serious active networker will spend eight hours a week attending networking events, networking online, meeting with referral sources and giving time to activities with his network, that works out to 400 hours per year or $24,000 of time invested a year. Hmmm, that doesn’t sound like FREE to me.
Referral marketing is the most cost-effective way to grow your business. Getting the best return on your time and money requires a clear referral marketing plan. Will you be spending your time doing the right things, with the right people, in the right organizations? Investing in referral marketing knowledge will help you get the best return for your time investment. Be careful not to fall into the common trap of being penny wise and time foolish with your referral marketing. Create a budget and invest appropriately in your referral marketing.
3 Keys to Coping When Your World Gets Rocked
Liza ran ahead of us as we walked to the playground. Mary, Liza's mom, told me her husband didn’t want to be married any more. There was no working things out. Divorce was coming. She continued “This isn’t the ride I signed up for. My ticket got punched and I don’t like it. My world’s rocked.”
Whether it’s your marriage, job or another loss, your ticket got punched. Life changed. That wasn’t part of your plan. Your world got rocked. What do you do?
There are 3 keys to coping in hard times. Finances, support and staying encouraged that this too shall pass are the major top the major top three.
First know how much money you have. What accounts it’s in and how liquid it is will bring you peace of mind. Plan further. Figure out how much it costs you to live and how long your current funds will last without having extra income. Denial has no room here.
Secondly research shows that support is vital to relieving stress. Leslie’s friends wanted to fix her as she talked about the pain in breaking up with her boyfriend. Finally she told them what she needed. She said “I don’t need to you tell me what to do. I know what to do. What I need is a hug.” Keep your family and friends close. Open up to them and let them know what you need.
And finally, no matter how bad it gets, stay optimistic. I know that sounds impossible. When all has gone to heck in a handbag, how is it possible? Dr. Bev Smallwood of the Hope Clinic suggests these 3 questions to ask yourself when you get down in the dumps.
Are you telling yourself this is temporary or is it permanent? Do you say I’ll never find another job? Or do you say this is only for now.
Are you talking in negative generalities? Life is lousy; things will never get better; and I’m stuck are generalities.
Are you beating yourself up with ‘what ifs’? What if I had paid attention? What if I had invested more and spent less? What if…you fill in the blank…? You’ll never know what if. It’s a waste of brain power and keeps you stuck in a bad place.
When I was left with a huge house and teenager to support by myself, a neighbor suggested I do these things. I didn’t feel like it and I sure didn’t want to. I forced myself to do them since she’d had experience on the same path. I did them anyway and credit my recovery from my world that had been turned upside down.
You always have choices. Start with these three tools. Smart choices give you power which gives you control over coping when your world gets rocked and feel like you have no control. Rick Warren in the Purpose Driven Life says that between now and this time tomorrow, you’ll give your life to something. Choose well. You’ll keep on being smart.
© Copyright Smokie Sizemore 2009. You may include this article in your E-zine or on your website or distribute it to others, provided you include the copyright statement and bio information tag line found at the end of this article. Smokie Sizemore, CPCC, speaker and founder of the Smart Woman’s Club, is an expert on the authentic woman. She coaches professional women to thrive in their careers and love their life. For more information, visit www.smartwomansclub.com.
Whether it’s your marriage, job or another loss, your ticket got punched. Life changed. That wasn’t part of your plan. Your world got rocked. What do you do?
There are 3 keys to coping in hard times. Finances, support and staying encouraged that this too shall pass are the major top the major top three.
First know how much money you have. What accounts it’s in and how liquid it is will bring you peace of mind. Plan further. Figure out how much it costs you to live and how long your current funds will last without having extra income. Denial has no room here.
Secondly research shows that support is vital to relieving stress. Leslie’s friends wanted to fix her as she talked about the pain in breaking up with her boyfriend. Finally she told them what she needed. She said “I don’t need to you tell me what to do. I know what to do. What I need is a hug.” Keep your family and friends close. Open up to them and let them know what you need.
And finally, no matter how bad it gets, stay optimistic. I know that sounds impossible. When all has gone to heck in a handbag, how is it possible? Dr. Bev Smallwood of the Hope Clinic suggests these 3 questions to ask yourself when you get down in the dumps.
Are you telling yourself this is temporary or is it permanent? Do you say I’ll never find another job? Or do you say this is only for now.
Are you talking in negative generalities? Life is lousy; things will never get better; and I’m stuck are generalities.
Are you beating yourself up with ‘what ifs’? What if I had paid attention? What if I had invested more and spent less? What if…you fill in the blank…? You’ll never know what if. It’s a waste of brain power and keeps you stuck in a bad place.
When I was left with a huge house and teenager to support by myself, a neighbor suggested I do these things. I didn’t feel like it and I sure didn’t want to. I forced myself to do them since she’d had experience on the same path. I did them anyway and credit my recovery from my world that had been turned upside down.
You always have choices. Start with these three tools. Smart choices give you power which gives you control over coping when your world gets rocked and feel like you have no control. Rick Warren in the Purpose Driven Life says that between now and this time tomorrow, you’ll give your life to something. Choose well. You’ll keep on being smart.
© Copyright Smokie Sizemore 2009. You may include this article in your E-zine or on your website or distribute it to others, provided you include the copyright statement and bio information tag line found at the end of this article. Smokie Sizemore, CPCC, speaker and founder of the Smart Woman’s Club, is an expert on the authentic woman. She coaches professional women to thrive in their careers and love their life. For more information, visit www.smartwomansclub.com.
The Easiest Facelift Ever
It was so quick. I showed up for my 2 pm appointment with excitement. At 3:15 I was on my way, my headshot captured on disc. Not a wrinkle, crease line, crow’s foot or blemish remained. No blood, scalpels or invasive procedures. The turkey neck was gone, too. It was the easiest cosmetic surgery on the planet.
If you saw Sophia Loren at the Oscars you know what I’m talking about. She didn’t look like herself. Neither did I – look like her or myself. The face was plastic looking – more like a mold with slits where eyes and breathing holes were stuck in.
The photo must’ve spent all day in PhotoShop.
“I didn’t have skin like this when I was 4 years old.” I told the photographer in a 911 call.
Back to PhotoShop I went. The image was projected on the biggest flat screen you ever saw. That’s scary. Actually the image could be an anti-terrorist deterent.
With a few quick clicks all wrinkles, sags and turkey skin appeared from nowhere. Circles drawn like surgeon marks dotted the face. With right click massages the blemishes and creases inside the circles smoothed right out. And so it went until the desired look was achieved.
Gone was the plastic looking tight skin. Found was my essence, sparkle, lines and creases, signatures of life experienced.
It was the easiest cosmetic surgery ever.
If you saw Sophia Loren at the Oscars you know what I’m talking about. She didn’t look like herself. Neither did I – look like her or myself. The face was plastic looking – more like a mold with slits where eyes and breathing holes were stuck in.
The photo must’ve spent all day in PhotoShop.
“I didn’t have skin like this when I was 4 years old.” I told the photographer in a 911 call.
Back to PhotoShop I went. The image was projected on the biggest flat screen you ever saw. That’s scary. Actually the image could be an anti-terrorist deterent.
With a few quick clicks all wrinkles, sags and turkey skin appeared from nowhere. Circles drawn like surgeon marks dotted the face. With right click massages the blemishes and creases inside the circles smoothed right out. And so it went until the desired look was achieved.
Gone was the plastic looking tight skin. Found was my essence, sparkle, lines and creases, signatures of life experienced.
It was the easiest cosmetic surgery ever.
Makeover and Vibrator
I plopped myself in the chair at Estee Lauder cosmetic counter. I was curious about spring colors. Never being interested in skin care or taking time to put more than lipstick on I consider this radical.
I do love getting made up. It makes me feel like a movie star. Now that my skin is heading south I' m interested in helping my appearance in every way, even if it means wearing make up.
So there I was on Tuesday afternoon. Janice, the so professional cosmetic woman, asked all the questions about things never passing through my mind. The answer was “What do you think would be best? Then let’s see what it looks like.” Janice carefully covered my face with soft warm colors. Then it was time to do the eyes. A little liner and some mascara.
While she searched for new products, I explored what she’d laid on the tray beside me. Lipstick, blush, moisturerizer, and mascara were beautifully packaged. The mascara brush was set aside. When I picked it up, it buzzed softly, then it shook. It felt good. It felt really good. It was a vibrator.
Who’d have thought Estee Lauder cosmetic counter is the place to get a vibrator.
I do love getting made up. It makes me feel like a movie star. Now that my skin is heading south I' m interested in helping my appearance in every way, even if it means wearing make up.
So there I was on Tuesday afternoon. Janice, the so professional cosmetic woman, asked all the questions about things never passing through my mind. The answer was “What do you think would be best? Then let’s see what it looks like.” Janice carefully covered my face with soft warm colors. Then it was time to do the eyes. A little liner and some mascara.
While she searched for new products, I explored what she’d laid on the tray beside me. Lipstick, blush, moisturerizer, and mascara were beautifully packaged. The mascara brush was set aside. When I picked it up, it buzzed softly, then it shook. It felt good. It felt really good. It was a vibrator.
Who’d have thought Estee Lauder cosmetic counter is the place to get a vibrator.
Caught in the loop
How many tmes have you been caught in the loop of the electronic phone menu? Has it sent you over the edge? You're going to write a letter about it to the hightest authority and let them know how stupid the dumb menu is. Saying you'll do it is one thing. Actually doing it is another.
An elderly woman took action when this letter showed up last week. Supposedly it's a real letter sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. She certainly makes her point for all of us.
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh -and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me.
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
Amen!
An elderly woman took action when this letter showed up last week. Supposedly it's a real letter sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. She certainly makes her point for all of us.
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh -and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me.
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
Amen!
Design your year
It’s a new year. Whoopidoo. Hopes for a new start are dashed by headlines. Or are they?
Ads scream New Year! New You! New President! They yell for changing more than calendar pages. Smart women flex with the times. They adjust here and shift there. Knowing where you’re headed and designing your platform give the foundation to be solid and grounded regardless of what happens.
Answering these questions will set you up for a new you in this new year.
Smart women make their own rules. 2009 is the year to make your new rules. Here’re some questions to think about as you make your rules.
What are your three main goals to accomplish this year? What’s important about them? How will your life change because you met them?
What one thing can you do that brings out the best you? Is it to join the gym and actually use it to firm up flabby arms and jelly belly?
What change can you make that will improve your life right now? Is it to clean out your closet, fix the broken drawer, clean the winter debris off the garden?
What change do you have to make? When does it need to be done? Probably the sooner the better.
Where can you lighten up?
What skill do you need to improve or develop?
How can you put more fun in 2009? Perhaps a regular date night, a monthly night out with the girls, going to a new place for dinner, wear a pin upside down and see who notices, wade in a fountain, join a book club.
How can you do more of what you love to do? My favorite is laughing. Try it: laugh a good ole hard belly laugh til your jaws and sides hurt because you laughed so hard.
What are you excited about?
What wacky, crazy thing do you want to do? This is the year to do it so get going.
Who can help you? While this life is do-it-yourself, it isn’t a do-it-alone job.
And finally if you had a theme for 2009, besides tie a knot on your rope and hold on, what would it be? Ask your teammates at work to pick one for the department and listen to an energizing conversation.
What do you want to be able to say at year end about your life this year? It’s a new year, new you and new times never experienced before. Design your year. Go for it.
Ads scream New Year! New You! New President! They yell for changing more than calendar pages. Smart women flex with the times. They adjust here and shift there. Knowing where you’re headed and designing your platform give the foundation to be solid and grounded regardless of what happens.
Answering these questions will set you up for a new you in this new year.
Smart women make their own rules. 2009 is the year to make your new rules. Here’re some questions to think about as you make your rules.
What are your three main goals to accomplish this year? What’s important about them? How will your life change because you met them?
What one thing can you do that brings out the best you? Is it to join the gym and actually use it to firm up flabby arms and jelly belly?
What change can you make that will improve your life right now? Is it to clean out your closet, fix the broken drawer, clean the winter debris off the garden?
What change do you have to make? When does it need to be done? Probably the sooner the better.
Where can you lighten up?
What skill do you need to improve or develop?
How can you put more fun in 2009? Perhaps a regular date night, a monthly night out with the girls, going to a new place for dinner, wear a pin upside down and see who notices, wade in a fountain, join a book club.
How can you do more of what you love to do? My favorite is laughing. Try it: laugh a good ole hard belly laugh til your jaws and sides hurt because you laughed so hard.
What are you excited about?
What wacky, crazy thing do you want to do? This is the year to do it so get going.
Who can help you? While this life is do-it-yourself, it isn’t a do-it-alone job.
And finally if you had a theme for 2009, besides tie a knot on your rope and hold on, what would it be? Ask your teammates at work to pick one for the department and listen to an energizing conversation.
What do you want to be able to say at year end about your life this year? It’s a new year, new you and new times never experienced before. Design your year. Go for it.
The best Sunday afternoon
It was cold, damp and windy. I needed to think and plan. Believe it or not, playing golf and walking are the best places for me to do this. Being a fair weather golfer only, walking was the choice. Two laps around the Vita Trail was enough time to do my mental work. Proud was I, and sleepy.
At home, my bed waited, calling 'take a nap'. So I did. I'm not one to struggle and resist good invitations. What a fabulous way to reward myself for a productive planning session in the wind. It was the best Sunday afternoon.
At home, my bed waited, calling 'take a nap'. So I did. I'm not one to struggle and resist good invitations. What a fabulous way to reward myself for a productive planning session in the wind. It was the best Sunday afternoon.
The Mistake of the Day
Today I made a mistake. So what’s the big deal? It meant that I couldn’t deliver what’s promised to members of the Smart Woman’s Club. That means I'm out of integrity.
A radio announcer get gigged by a listener on some wrong information he gave. The announcer said with greatly amplified sound “The mistake of the day.” In his regular voice he continued “Glad that’s over with. Now I won’t worry about messing up today. It’s out of the way.”
So today I messed up big time. I confess. I own it. I’m so glad that it’s out of my way. I apologize for not keeping my word.
Everyone makes mistakes. My 2009 theme calls for making bold moves which open me up for making more mistakes. Mistakes mean that I’m doing new things, growing and out of my comfort zone. Yikes.
Let’s raise a glass to being uncomfortable and doing new things, even the mistake of the day.
A radio announcer get gigged by a listener on some wrong information he gave. The announcer said with greatly amplified sound “The mistake of the day.” In his regular voice he continued “Glad that’s over with. Now I won’t worry about messing up today. It’s out of the way.”
So today I messed up big time. I confess. I own it. I’m so glad that it’s out of my way. I apologize for not keeping my word.
Everyone makes mistakes. My 2009 theme calls for making bold moves which open me up for making more mistakes. Mistakes mean that I’m doing new things, growing and out of my comfort zone. Yikes.
Let’s raise a glass to being uncomfortable and doing new things, even the mistake of the day.
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