The Easiest Facelift Ever

It was so quick. I showed up for my 2 pm appointment with excitement. At 3:15 I was on my way, my headshot captured on disc. Not a wrinkle, crease line, crow’s foot or blemish remained. No blood, scalpels or invasive procedures. The turkey neck was gone, too. It was the easiest cosmetic surgery on the planet.
If you saw Sophia Loren at the Oscars you know what I’m talking about. She didn’t look like herself. Neither did I – look like her or myself. The face was plastic looking – more like a mold with slits where eyes and breathing holes were stuck in.
The photo must’ve spent all day in PhotoShop.
“I didn’t have skin like this when I was 4 years old.” I told the photographer in a 911 call.
Back to PhotoShop I went. The image was projected on the biggest flat screen you ever saw. That’s scary. Actually the image could be an anti-terrorist deterent.
With a few quick clicks all wrinkles, sags and turkey skin appeared from nowhere. Circles drawn like surgeon marks dotted the face. With right click massages the blemishes and creases inside the circles smoothed right out. And so it went until the desired look was achieved.
Gone was the plastic looking tight skin. Found was my essence, sparkle, lines and creases, signatures of life experienced.
It was the easiest cosmetic surgery ever.