3 Keys to Coping When Your World Gets Rocked

Liza ran ahead of us as we walked to the playground. Mary, Liza's mom, told me her husband didn’t want to be married any more. There was no working things out. Divorce was coming. She continued “This isn’t the ride I signed up for. My ticket got punched and I don’t like it. My world’s rocked.”
Whether it’s your marriage, job or another loss, your ticket got punched. Life changed. That wasn’t part of your plan. Your world got rocked. What do you do?
There are 3 keys to coping in hard times. Finances, support and staying encouraged that this too shall pass are the major top the major top three.

First know how much money you have. What accounts it’s in and how liquid it is will bring you peace of mind. Plan further. Figure out how much it costs you to live and how long your current funds will last without having extra income. Denial has no room here.

Secondly research shows that support is vital to relieving stress. Leslie’s friends wanted to fix her as she talked about the pain in breaking up with her boyfriend. Finally she told them what she needed. She said “I don’t need to you tell me what to do. I know what to do. What I need is a hug.” Keep your family and friends close. Open up to them and let them know what you need.

And finally, no matter how bad it gets, stay optimistic. I know that sounds impossible. When all has gone to heck in a handbag, how is it possible? Dr. Bev Smallwood of the Hope Clinic suggests these 3 questions to ask yourself when you get down in the dumps.

Are you telling yourself this is temporary or is it permanent? Do you say I’ll never find another job? Or do you say this is only for now.
Are you talking in negative generalities? Life is lousy; things will never get better; and I’m stuck are generalities.
Are you beating yourself up with ‘what ifs’? What if I had paid attention? What if I had invested more and spent less? What if…you fill in the blank…? You’ll never know what if. It’s a waste of brain power and keeps you stuck in a bad place.

When I was left with a huge house and teenager to support by myself, a neighbor suggested I do these things. I didn’t feel like it and I sure didn’t want to. I forced myself to do them since she’d had experience on the same path. I did them anyway and credit my recovery from my world that had been turned upside down.

You always have choices. Start with these three tools. Smart choices give you power which gives you control over coping when your world gets rocked and feel like you have no control. Rick Warren in the Purpose Driven Life says that between now and this time tomorrow, you’ll give your life to something. Choose well. You’ll keep on being smart.

© Copyright Smokie Sizemore 2009. You may include this article in your E-zine or on your website or distribute it to others, provided you include the copyright statement and bio information tag line found at the end of this article. Smokie Sizemore, CPCC, speaker and founder of the Smart Woman’s Club, is an expert on the authentic woman. She coaches professional women to thrive in their careers and love their life. For more information, visit www.smartwomansclub.com.

The Easiest Facelift Ever

It was so quick. I showed up for my 2 pm appointment with excitement. At 3:15 I was on my way, my headshot captured on disc. Not a wrinkle, crease line, crow’s foot or blemish remained. No blood, scalpels or invasive procedures. The turkey neck was gone, too. It was the easiest cosmetic surgery on the planet.
If you saw Sophia Loren at the Oscars you know what I’m talking about. She didn’t look like herself. Neither did I – look like her or myself. The face was plastic looking – more like a mold with slits where eyes and breathing holes were stuck in.
The photo must’ve spent all day in PhotoShop.
“I didn’t have skin like this when I was 4 years old.” I told the photographer in a 911 call.
Back to PhotoShop I went. The image was projected on the biggest flat screen you ever saw. That’s scary. Actually the image could be an anti-terrorist deterent.
With a few quick clicks all wrinkles, sags and turkey skin appeared from nowhere. Circles drawn like surgeon marks dotted the face. With right click massages the blemishes and creases inside the circles smoothed right out. And so it went until the desired look was achieved.
Gone was the plastic looking tight skin. Found was my essence, sparkle, lines and creases, signatures of life experienced.
It was the easiest cosmetic surgery ever.

Makeover and Vibrator

I plopped myself in the chair at Estee Lauder cosmetic counter. I was curious about spring colors. Never being interested in skin care or taking time to put more than lipstick on I consider this radical.
I do love getting made up. It makes me feel like a movie star. Now that my skin is heading south I' m interested in helping my appearance in every way, even if it means wearing make up.
So there I was on Tuesday afternoon. Janice, the so professional cosmetic woman, asked all the questions about things never passing through my mind. The answer was “What do you think would be best? Then let’s see what it looks like.” Janice carefully covered my face with soft warm colors. Then it was time to do the eyes. A little liner and some mascara.
While she searched for new products, I explored what she’d laid on the tray beside me. Lipstick, blush, moisturerizer, and mascara were beautifully packaged. The mascara brush was set aside. When I picked it up, it buzzed softly, then it shook. It felt good. It felt really good. It was a vibrator.
Who’d have thought Estee Lauder cosmetic counter is the place to get a vibrator.