Trail by fire lessons learned

      While spending time in Admiral's naval fleet several experiences happened because I didn't know what to expect.  Here are 10 basics I learned with trial by fire early on.  Here goes, girlfriend to girlfriend.   
1. Know that you will be 'taking the wheel' (that means steer) sooner than later.
2. Something will break that the Captain will attempt to repair right away. His head will disappear into a hole leaving his butt sticking up in the air - hence you have to 'take the wheel'.
3. Your manicure is shot.
4. You will have at least 2 new bruises when you disembark (get off the boat).
5. Slop on loads of sunscreen as you will sweat it off. Then slop on more.
6. Take a bag for sea shells to go in and a large beach towel.   If the boat is sans potty, be sure there's a bucket to fill in.  You will use all.
7. For entertainment (besides the Captain's butt sticking out while repairing the boat) bring bread, crackers and like bits to feed the gulls. How they hover is delightful and amazing.
8. You'll enjoy wearing your sunglasses and a brimmed hat. Hold on to your hat. Forget about your hair.
9. Wear comfortable clothes and layer up.  You know what to do if it's cold or hot.
10. The Captain has rules. You'll have more fun if you know what they are so ask before boarding (getting on the boat). You might prefer to stay on shore if they are stupid (no food allowed and no sunbathing) or too many. 
      My hope is that you're saved a boat load (no pun intended) of upset and have a head start on a good time on the water. Bon voyage, girlfriend.

What signs do you miss?

      White linen covered the table. Three small cakes, forks and napkins were perfectly placed on top. Chef was very official in his white jacket with thermometer in its custom pocket.  Admiral, the king of sweets, was delighted to be tasting samples for our wedding cake. 
      "This is my wedding pound cake, traditional with a delicious icing." Chef said, putting a small slice on plates in front of us.   As I tasted the cake, memories of all wedding cake filled my mind. 
      "What's the next one? I don't like this one. It's sorta dull and bland." Admiral said as he moved the plate aside.   Left over cake was the sure sign it wasn't the winner.
      "This is my carrot cake. It has extra pecans in it.  The icing is cream cheese. Not the traditional cream cheese, it's my special creation.  Smokie told me carrot cake was your favorite." Chef said as he slid plated slices of beautiful orangey moist cake before us.  Curiously, I tasted it, searching again for flavors Chef described.  Admiral ate the first fork full, mumbled about how yummy it was, and woofed down several more bites.
      As he put plates with another different slice before us, Chef said "This is the lemon cake brides today like. It's another specialty of mine.  The icing is soft and light to compliment the moist cake." 
While we ate, Chef and I talked about servings, themes, and costs.  Being cost conscious,  I said "What can you tell me about cupcakes? I've seen them at weddings." 
      Admiral replaced the unfinished lemon cake with the remaining carrot cake.  Quickly it disappeared as Chef and I talked about more about cupcakes.
      "Are you going to eat that?" Admiral asked, pointing at my left-over carrot cake. 
      "It's all yours." I said, passing the plate to him.
      "Chef, from the way Admiral is loving the carrot cake, it's the winner. How does it do in cupcakes?" I asked.
      Not realizing that Admiral was paying attention to the discussion, he chimed in "It's a wedding and there should be wedding cake, not cupcakes."    Don't you love a man who says his mind!
      With another wedding decision made it was time for more research and development to see how well we live together.  Honeymoon #3 was beginning.  Naples, Florida was the destination where weather was certainly better than RVA.
      Play was the agenda. The excursion to Key West by water was on a whale watching boat from Cape Cod. Who knew a tour boat and its crew were snow birds too? 
      From the boat's arrival in Key West harbor, to chocolate covered frozen Key Lime pie on a stick, to a pedicab ride down Duval St., and Margaritaville, its energy is contagious.  The atmosphere is electric, no holds barred on the possible.  Scooters, 'steered' by high schoolers on spring break, sped everywhere, adding their constantly blowing horns to the din of Key West.
      The return trip to Marco Island was rough, even for a seasoned boater. Both hands holding tightly to stationary objects were barely enough to stay upright for an urgent trip to the loo.  Admiral entertained himself doing origami, learned from a first-grade playmate. My attention was on March Madness, interrupted with films of the day's global disaster.  Knowing  Japan had been destroyed by the tsunami that morning made the whole day's experience seem surreal.
      Calmer waters returned and play time was ample in the 'little boat', an 18 foot jet boat.  It bobs like a cork in waves and loves to go in circles - at its will. 
      "OK, you drive today." Admiral said matter-of-factly.   With my heart beating in sheer terror, I gasped "Are you sure?  I've never driven a boat like this. I ride in it much better." I gasped, trying to be non chalant and hoping he'd get the hint.
      "Oh, you can do this. It's easy. Go ahead. Sit here and take the wheel."  he replied, pointing to the driver's chair.
      Off we went with friend Ray along.  The noisy engine drowned my pounding heart and short breathes. We were headed up the Intercoastal Waterway to Naples for lunch, about a nine mile ride.  Under my control the little boat went into circles. Efforts on my part to stop it only made more circles.
      "What am I doing or not doing!" I hollered to Admiral, who was watching gauges and dials. Ray watched the water to be sure I didn't run aground. 
      "Oh, it'll straighten out.  Don't turn the wheel so fast. You're doing fine. Kick it up a little bit.  We have a ways to go yet." he assured me.
      As I sped up, we passed boats. "What's up with these boaters putting along? The water's calm and flat.  Am I hearing sirens out here? I did see a Coast Guard auxiliary boat."  I wondered. 
      "Slow to idle speed now." the loudspeaker said. 
      "What in the world is that!" I yelled over our loud engine. 
      "Smokie, you'd better slow down to idle now.  It's the Coast Guard.  Did you bring your Drivers License?" Admiral said as officers in life jackets pulled alongside and tied us onto their huge boat. 
      "Yes sir, I own this boat, Officers.  Smokie, look in the box for the registration. We're headed to Naples on this fine sunny afternoon." Admiral said cheerfully, in response to their inquiry about the boat's ownership.  "She's driving under my supervision." he added. Thank heavens he said that since I was sans driver's license.
       We chatted with the officers while they did the Coast Guard safety inspection of our equipment.  Inow they weren't old enough to be in that big boat by themselves.  "Didn't you see the slow down signs? You're in a manatee zone, you know."
      "Officers, we were chatting and missed them.  It won't happen again." Admiral vowed.  "How far is it to Naples from here?" he asked as they untied and released our little boat.
      With Admiral at the wheel we heard them say "You have about an hour to go yet. Drive slow." as we headed on our way. 
      Collectively we said, "Whew! that was close.  Thank heavens all this required safety stuff was flawless. We were lucky to get off with a warning. Naples, here we come. We need a drink. Ray, forget low water and running aground.  Watch for those signs!"