Too much to do to change

The Smart Woman’s Club Stimulus Plan is all about helping you thrive in your career, love life and celebrate how wonderful you are. Doing that more helps you and the whole country recover from lousy news and economy taking up too much air time and space.

In order to do that some things have to change ~ like you. “Yikes! Oh no! I’ve got too much to do to change.” your inner voice, the little witch, screams.

You get in your way every day at least once. You said yes when you wanted to say no. Last week Helen was telling about an assignment her civic club wanted her to do. She said OK. Now she’s wondering how she’ll find time to do it because she couldn’t say no.

Self defeating behaviors like that are stressful. Other stressing behaviors are being the only person who can do the job, working too many hours, and being too responsible. Don’t forget being the perfectionist or analyzing things to death.

You’re getting something out of these behaviors or you wouldn’t do them. They feed your need, take all your time, rob you of any balance in life, and keep you from playing in life’s sandbox. Too much of any one can make you sick.

I’m going to challenge your thinking.

If you’re the only one to do the job, who does it when suddenly you aren’t there? Clara is the ‘only one’ in the school that handles student financing and graduation. Her sister was critically injured in an accident causing Clara to be at her bedside 24/7. The school told her they’d handle her work so she could be with her sister.

Time is a finite quantity. Do you expect to give your life to your company? Business owners say “Yes I do.” Employees say “I have done that.” Kathi worked all the time. Home was for sleeping, eating and passing husband John like a ship in the night. Kathi wanted a life with John and couldn’t figure out how to extricate herself from work. When John was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, she figured it out.

Are you the responsible one, always in charge? You have to be responsible so you get built up helping. Co-workers self esteem sinks because you don’t let them do it and learn how. Sally, the office 'mother', took a 2 week vacation. Sally was buried with work when she returned as her team ‘couldn’t do it'.

Does that job have to be done perfectly? You miss deadlines, keep everyone from meeting their deadlines and otherwise block progress. Jane, the perfectionista, is given very small tasks and over looked for promotion because she doesn’t finish jobs on time.

Taking a risk causes you to hyperventilate. More data is needed to make the right decision. Mary wanted a new car, the perfect one. For one year she studied cars, making lists of pros and cons. Then models changed and she started all over. She admits she’d never do that again.

Were you shaking your head YES as you read along? Was your body getting hot as your guilt rose? Was your witch saying “That’s you. You can’t change. Who would do what you do as well? What are you thinking?” Peggy Collins book HELP IS NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD is a must read for you if you said yes.

Self defeating behaviors can be changed ~ like your hair color. It’s a choice. Where to start? Pick one causing the most stress and heartburn. Then begin.

COACHES DARE: Say NO at least once a day. Please let me know how it goes. If you want some reinforcement, I'm glad to be your accountability buddy.

The Sites You've Seen Contest

To celebrate the Smart Woman’s Stimulus Plan we’re looking for your best image story ~ be it boldly bad or beautiful. Tell us the sites you’ve seen on women and men.
Don’t hold back. Tell us how a personal appearance ~ aka image ~ helps loving life, thriving professionally and celebrating with confidence.
Share it by June 30. The winner will be announced at Creating An A+ Image in a D- Economy on July 1. You can register for that at www.smartwomansclub.com/events.asp.
Thanks for contributing to the Smart Woman’s Club Stimulus Plan.