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With a few days left in 2010, let’s call it a wrap. Here’re some questions to help you close out this year.
Wrap Up 2010
What were the breakdowns and disappoints of 2010? Get them out of the way. Write them down and let them go.
List your Successes, Wins, and Accomplishments. Your list should have at least 25 wins on it. Need reminding? Check your calendar, Facebook, ask friends, etc. to review the year. Own that you really did these things.
How are you personally and professionally different since 2010 began? What did you learn?
This is the stuff MBA school doesn’t teach. True insights have the transformational capability of shifting you into a new, more alive place!
What are you most grateful for? You’re using the basic principle: whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life. This list could have at least 100 things on it. Go ahead, be audacious and write them down. Seeing is appreciating.
How will you celebrate your 2010 accomplishments? This honors you, your tenacity and boldness. It could be the beginning of an annual ritual. What would be a fun, special thing to do for yourself? With whom do you want to share it?
Now it's time to take the best of 2010 into 2011. Create your New Year! Bring on 2011.
How will you create your new year 2011? Each year I select a theme to remind me daily how to be to accomplish my goals. My 2010 theme is Be Bold, Be Happy, Play Big since I was tired of missing some goals. I posted it in key places in my office, bathroom and frig so it's in my face. Each time I think about being small, sad or shy, it reminded me they weren't the plan. I love bright colors and art so I drew my theme big and bold. What’s your theme? What would it look like? What is a metaphor you can use? Get creative, out of the box and have a good time with it.
What from 2010 do you not want to repeat? Think about all events that happened within your company/department and the effect they had on you and your team. Ask your associates for their ideas, too, if you’re at a loss. These are hard, unforgettable lessons learned.
What do you want more of that happened last year? Include everything no matter how big or small. Ask your associates for this, too.
Where can you be fearless in 2011 regarding your business? Get out of your way and step up to your greatness. What one habit do you need to trash?
What’s the biggest personal goal you have? Look at your life and wake up that idea or dream. What is it? How can you breathe life into it, embrace it and make it happen? Who can help you? How would your life be if this happened?
If you answer candidly half these questions, you’re on your way to a smart 2011. I’m rooting for you and your success. Need some help? Let me know – I’d love to hear your goals and ideas. Make 2011 your smartest year yet.
Get Outta My Way: 8 Ways to Stop Self Sabotage
“Oh, yes. I’m glad to help you. “ Leslie said. “What do you need and when?” Sally replied, “Tomorrow. I know your inbox is full and you’re under deadline. I do need your help. Thanks. That really helps me out.”
“A full inbox and under deadline is an understatement”, Leslie thinks. “Already I’m late with my own project and here I am saying yes. Why did I do that? Why didn’t I say NO? I want Sally to like me …”
How many times have you done this? You just sabotaged yourself - again. How can you change that? With the same clarity and cunning that your Inner Critic – aka the Bitch - uses, you can overcome your saboteurs. Here’re a few ways to begin.
· Know you have to change. Habits can get you ahead and habits will keep you stuck. You’re leaving your comfort zone behind. Make a decision to change and be willing to be uncomfortable until you assimilate new beneficial behaviors.
· Notice what you say and what you think when you say it. Are you saying yes when you want to say no? Are you letting people waste your time and make you late? Are you being polite so you won’t hurt their feelings? Pay attention to what you say and what you’re thinking as you say it.
· Ask what you’re getting out of sabotaging yourself. Do you get to stay in your comfort zone? Get to be liked? Look good? What’s in it for you to keep doing these things?
· Explore different options/ways of behaving. Rather than letting inane conversation eat up your time to be liked or polite, what would happen if you honored yourself and your time? Could you say “Let’s talk more about this later.” and claim your time? Remember the airlines have an agreement with you that the plane leaves with or without you.
· What’s the smart woman’s way? Look at mentors and leaders in Women in Insurance and Financial Services. What do they do that you’re not doing? What can you learn from them?
Busting your saboteurs is a process. As much as I want to give you a quick fix, I can’t. It’s a process and takes time. Following are more proven methods to use and begin building a solid foundation.
· Team up with a like-minded trusted friend who wants to shake her sabotaging ways. Set each other up for success by agreeing to check in daily at first to review your behaviors, support each other and hold each other accountable to change.
· Include fun rewards for successes and incremental changes, no matter how small. You are making progress and deserve rewards.
· Acknowledge yourself for your successes and failures. If you didn’t make a change, it’s ok today. Tomorrow will bring another chance to do it again.
In Smart Women Make Their Own Rules, I write “Blessed is the smart woman who changes what gets in her way. She shall have an easier life.”
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly at Pinecone Hollow
From the opening game on April 15 to the last on Labor Day adventures in Pinecone Hollow Cafe I have blogged. It’s time to wrap up that adventure of research on leadership from the bottom up with this Good, Bad and Ugly critique from my cashier’s view.
The Bad
Tall Boss went off on me when I asked him if the soda machine, which was broken for 3 weeks, would be fixed.
With the exception of tools for the cooks there were no tools to make our job easier, like opening 12 cardboard boxes a night. A knife was no where to be found. I brought my own box cutter. No more manicures sacrificed.
Today’s way of doing things is the opposite of yesterdays.
The temps in the Café ranged from 95 degrees at the registers to 115 degrees at the grills. Why pay big bucks to go to a sweat lodge when you can work at the Café and get paid to sweat! It's a promise sweat will roll down your back.
The Ugly
Placido embarrassed all of us when he had a melt down and cursed where customers could hear him. At the same time he was slinging hot greasy squirrely fries into the trays so most fell on the floor where they were stepped on. Grease was tracked all over the floor so we had to walk very carefully during the busiest time of a sold-out night.
The Good
The big boys that cooked all the food were my angels. They reached boxes in high places, hefted heavy boxes I couldn’t and watched my back. And they made sure my food orders were filled in a timely fashion. Bless those guys.
Wonderful music played by great bands serenaded us as we prepped for the evening’s work. Usually it was beach music, my fave. How did they know?
Several customers tipped us.
There was usually a breeze on the ‘veranda’ on the second floor concourse, outside the Café door.
Many things happened to blog about from getting fired and rehired because the boss forgot he fired me, Hiker hit on me, and the antics of Pinces and Princesses.
And finally once on a sold out night all systems were on – everyone showed up 100%, even Princesses put their attitudes on hold for the jam. All jived perfectly – Dancing with the Stars couldn’t have done better. We created hundreds of happy fans. We proved we could work like a well-oiled machine.
And what did I get out of the whole experience? Compassion for the servers of the world who help me by doing their job, no matter what it is. I'm kinder and gentler for having been a Squirrelette for the summer of 2010.
The Bad
Tall Boss went off on me when I asked him if the soda machine, which was broken for 3 weeks, would be fixed.
With the exception of tools for the cooks there were no tools to make our job easier, like opening 12 cardboard boxes a night. A knife was no where to be found. I brought my own box cutter. No more manicures sacrificed.
Today’s way of doing things is the opposite of yesterdays.
The temps in the Café ranged from 95 degrees at the registers to 115 degrees at the grills. Why pay big bucks to go to a sweat lodge when you can work at the Café and get paid to sweat! It's a promise sweat will roll down your back.
The Ugly
Placido embarrassed all of us when he had a melt down and cursed where customers could hear him. At the same time he was slinging hot greasy squirrely fries into the trays so most fell on the floor where they were stepped on. Grease was tracked all over the floor so we had to walk very carefully during the busiest time of a sold-out night.
The Good
The big boys that cooked all the food were my angels. They reached boxes in high places, hefted heavy boxes I couldn’t and watched my back. And they made sure my food orders were filled in a timely fashion. Bless those guys.
Wonderful music played by great bands serenaded us as we prepped for the evening’s work. Usually it was beach music, my fave. How did they know?
Several customers tipped us.
There was usually a breeze on the ‘veranda’ on the second floor concourse, outside the Café door.
Many things happened to blog about from getting fired and rehired because the boss forgot he fired me, Hiker hit on me, and the antics of Pinces and Princesses.
And finally once on a sold out night all systems were on – everyone showed up 100%, even Princesses put their attitudes on hold for the jam. All jived perfectly – Dancing with the Stars couldn’t have done better. We created hundreds of happy fans. We proved we could work like a well-oiled machine.
And what did I get out of the whole experience? Compassion for the servers of the world who help me by doing their job, no matter what it is. I'm kinder and gentler for having been a Squirrelette for the summer of 2010.
What Would You Do?
Friday morning was sunny and cool. After a client meeting I put some things in my car and noticed a woman leaning against a car two spaces away. She moved very little, looking relaxed as tho’ she was meditating. Who meditates in a parking lot? Especially this parking lot.
It’s a very trendy upscale shopping center where customers are highly controlled, uptight and buttoned up. Their classic stylish clothes help them blend in wherever they are.
Not wanting to scare her, carefully I approached the woman. A slurred reply to asking if she was alright told me she was not. She swayed, closed her eyes and leaned against the car again. I was afraid she’d fall over into the parking lot and hurt herself. Then she could get hit and cause someone else harm. What should I do?
From her answers to my short questions she mumbled “Get Tammy in Starbucks.”
Fortunately the car she leaned against was unlocked. I don’t know if it was her car and I didn't care. I opened the back door. With my guidance she sat down on the seat. At least if she passed out, she wouldn’t get hit by a car, I thought.
Into Starbucks I went. No one was Tammy. A young mother and the barista remembered the woman, saying she was acting odd. Together the young mother and I said we didn’t know what to do. My first thought was for the woman to be out of harm’s way, then to not cause harm for someone else. And what would be any backlash on me for actions I might take. What do you do?
The young mother, unable to find her sunglasses, went to ask the woman if she had them. A few minutes later the young mother returned, saying she found the woman passed out. The young mother went to the closest store where someone called 911 and rescue was on the way.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
It’s a very trendy upscale shopping center where customers are highly controlled, uptight and buttoned up. Their classic stylish clothes help them blend in wherever they are.
Not wanting to scare her, carefully I approached the woman. A slurred reply to asking if she was alright told me she was not. She swayed, closed her eyes and leaned against the car again. I was afraid she’d fall over into the parking lot and hurt herself. Then she could get hit and cause someone else harm. What should I do?
From her answers to my short questions she mumbled “Get Tammy in Starbucks.”
Fortunately the car she leaned against was unlocked. I don’t know if it was her car and I didn't care. I opened the back door. With my guidance she sat down on the seat. At least if she passed out, she wouldn’t get hit by a car, I thought.
Into Starbucks I went. No one was Tammy. A young mother and the barista remembered the woman, saying she was acting odd. Together the young mother and I said we didn’t know what to do. My first thought was for the woman to be out of harm’s way, then to not cause harm for someone else. And what would be any backlash on me for actions I might take. What do you do?
The young mother, unable to find her sunglasses, went to ask the woman if she had them. A few minutes later the young mother returned, saying she found the woman passed out. The young mother went to the closest store where someone called 911 and rescue was on the way.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Stupid or Smart?
Labor Day 2010 was a special day. Not only was it a holiday marking unofficially the end of summer. It was Emancipation Day - my last day as an employee of the Richmond Flying Squirrels. Placido, Pipper, Princess and I started at the first game April 15 and were amazed that we made it to the end. Abe, Tall Boss, Princesses and Princes couldn’t take me out, even with firing!
The last blog about Hiker and getting hit on brought many comments. “he may call....I am betting yes. fun to think about for sure-good for you!!” “What a great story! Let me know if he gets in touch...if not it is his loss for sure!” were a few. I so appreciate you reading the blog and taking time to send your cheers.
And this note came. “How many other 'smart' women set themselves up like this? You can get hurt or worse. What kind of example are you setting?” she wrote. I was expecting more of these. How many of you thought it?
Here’s the rest of the story of why I gave so easily my contact information. There was a huge high counter between Hiker and me with many people passing by. It couldn’t have been more public. The whole time Hiker was talking I was checking my intuition. Was he slimy? Did I feel safe? What was my gut saying?
Hiker said his wife died in the previous fall and his 3 children were taking him under their wing. Hence his visit to the Squirrels with his daughter who lived here. His expertise in the financial end of healthcare takes him on consulting gigs around the world. We’d been to the same places in Asia and Africa, struggled with jet lag and had much more in common with international travel. That created a unique connection.
He considerately stepped aside when I had to wait on customers and introduced himself properly to Abe. Conversation was easy and natural, never contrived. My gut said this guy is OK. My bigger question was “Where were those kids and why was I the only person here to wait on customers? “
When he asked for my contact info, it was clear he’d thought about it and had a plan. He made it easy as he handed his biz card to me with all his contact info while he asked for mine. That was impressive - you gotta love a salesman. With mission accomplished he turned and disappeared into the stands.
And I felt great. Face it, gals, it does wonders for your ego when one finds you attractive and lets you know it.
When Hiker left, the Princesses and Princes bounded out of the side room. Little did I know they were eavesdropping on every word. They got in my face, hugged me and congratulated me with high 5s, complements and big grins. Princesses and I giggled with delight.
They saw me differently. I was one of them now because they got hit on, too. Thanks to Hiker my struggle of connecting with them was over.
About Hiker – still no contact.
That's Why I'm Here.
It was a sold out night for the Flying Squirrels. We were slammed busy selling hot dogs and squirrely fries at Pine Hollow Cafe. With an endless line of customers, they begin to look the same as they stand in front of me. I chat with the ladies and banter with gents to pass time when they wait for their food. We laugh, they get their food and disappear into the crowd. Their face is replaced by the next one. "What can I get for you?" begins the next round.
No people in line means a break to the side room to sip the allowed water and woof down my nutrition bar. With hunger pangs satiated, it's back to the register to serve more fans.
"What can I get for you?' I asked the man deliberately headed toward me. "That's why I'm here" he said The last time I heard that burgers weren't on his mind.
He went on to say he was enjoying the game with his daughter and her family. It was a special July 4th visit with them. Then I remembered earlier he'd been with a younger guy. They got "Hello Handsome. I love it when the best looking guys get in my line." my usual greeting to all guys. We chatted about things that escape me and soon I heard myself say in response to his comment " I'm single. If you're single, we can chat about that. Do you have a girlfriend?" to which he quickly added "I'm shopping but I haven't bought yet." And so our conversation went for a few light moments. "After you finish all that, come on back for more." I said as they headed into the crowd, arms loaded with food.
Now he really was back. He mentioned he'd gone hiking with his son in Peru and works around the world - now that's my kind of guy. No customers were in line so we talked for a few minutes. Every so often a customer would appear.
"What can I get for you?" I asked. "I'll have a jumbo Diet coke and Jumbo Fries." "Coming right up", I say as I look around to see that I am alone.
The Princesses and Princes have disappeared. With that order filled, Hiker comes back and we resume our chat. "Dang, here's another customer." I think. To Hiker I say "Would you mind stepping over there while I wait on these folks? I don't know where the other cahiers are." He politely accommodated me.
On we chat and here comes Abe, Tall Boss's boss, to clear my register as usual. Here I am being hit on and the big boss shows up. "I hope he understands." I think. This time Hiker isn't moving. What am I going to do? I introduce Abe to him and bingo, I found out his name as they shake hands. Am I embarrassed or what? This is bizarre. This is like being in a sitcom.
With Abe gone Hiker pulls out of his shirt pocket 2 blank cards, handing them to me with a request that I put my name and number on one and give it back. Is this guy smooth or what? One thing I've learned about successful salespeople is they know how to ask for the order. In my best print I honored his request. He put the card carefully in his pocket, said so long and away he went into the crowd.
Suddenly in my face were the Princesses and Princes, "You've got it going on. I can't believe you got hit on. Who knew! What'd he say? Are you going out with him?" they wanted to know. High fives filled the air with shouts of "Way to go!"
"Where were you? I asked. "Several customers got in line and I had to wait on them."
"We were in the side room listening." they beamed.
When I took this gig working for the Flying Squirrels, I never thought I'd be writing about this. And what began as an adventure has turned into research on leadership from the bottom up. I'll blog more about that later.
For this Labor Day I'm sharing a humorous experience and a gift I've received - compassion for the people who wait on and help me.
As you celebrate your Labor Day holiday with family and friends, think about the people at your office that help you. As you go about this holiday weekend dedicated to working folks, in the moment share your smile with the strangers in front of you wearing those uniforms and laboring to help you have a good time.
Happy Labor Day to you and yours.
PS - As for Hiker, he sure had all of us feeling good and having fun for an evening. I still haven't heard from him.
No people in line means a break to the side room to sip the allowed water and woof down my nutrition bar. With hunger pangs satiated, it's back to the register to serve more fans.
"What can I get for you?' I asked the man deliberately headed toward me. "That's why I'm here" he said The last time I heard that burgers weren't on his mind.
He went on to say he was enjoying the game with his daughter and her family. It was a special July 4th visit with them. Then I remembered earlier he'd been with a younger guy. They got "Hello Handsome. I love it when the best looking guys get in my line." my usual greeting to all guys. We chatted about things that escape me and soon I heard myself say in response to his comment " I'm single. If you're single, we can chat about that. Do you have a girlfriend?" to which he quickly added "I'm shopping but I haven't bought yet." And so our conversation went for a few light moments. "After you finish all that, come on back for more." I said as they headed into the crowd, arms loaded with food.
Now he really was back. He mentioned he'd gone hiking with his son in Peru and works around the world - now that's my kind of guy. No customers were in line so we talked for a few minutes. Every so often a customer would appear.
"What can I get for you?" I asked. "I'll have a jumbo Diet coke and Jumbo Fries." "Coming right up", I say as I look around to see that I am alone.
The Princesses and Princes have disappeared. With that order filled, Hiker comes back and we resume our chat. "Dang, here's another customer." I think. To Hiker I say "Would you mind stepping over there while I wait on these folks? I don't know where the other cahiers are." He politely accommodated me.
On we chat and here comes Abe, Tall Boss's boss, to clear my register as usual. Here I am being hit on and the big boss shows up. "I hope he understands." I think. This time Hiker isn't moving. What am I going to do? I introduce Abe to him and bingo, I found out his name as they shake hands. Am I embarrassed or what? This is bizarre. This is like being in a sitcom.
With Abe gone Hiker pulls out of his shirt pocket 2 blank cards, handing them to me with a request that I put my name and number on one and give it back. Is this guy smooth or what? One thing I've learned about successful salespeople is they know how to ask for the order. In my best print I honored his request. He put the card carefully in his pocket, said so long and away he went into the crowd.
Suddenly in my face were the Princesses and Princes, "You've got it going on. I can't believe you got hit on. Who knew! What'd he say? Are you going out with him?" they wanted to know. High fives filled the air with shouts of "Way to go!"
"Where were you? I asked. "Several customers got in line and I had to wait on them."
"We were in the side room listening." they beamed.
When I took this gig working for the Flying Squirrels, I never thought I'd be writing about this. And what began as an adventure has turned into research on leadership from the bottom up. I'll blog more about that later.
For this Labor Day I'm sharing a humorous experience and a gift I've received - compassion for the people who wait on and help me.
As you celebrate your Labor Day holiday with family and friends, think about the people at your office that help you. As you go about this holiday weekend dedicated to working folks, in the moment share your smile with the strangers in front of you wearing those uniforms and laboring to help you have a good time.
Happy Labor Day to you and yours.
PS - As for Hiker, he sure had all of us feeling good and having fun for an evening. I still haven't heard from him.
Ketchup slides off the fan
“Welcome back. I’m so glad to see you.” Placido greeted me as I showed up for the game on Wednesday, the day after I would be ‘no-show’. Princess said “A friend of yours came by last night and I told them you didn’t work here any more.”
How did that happen? Here’s the rest of the story.
“This is bologna. I’m not standing for this.” I heard myself say. “They’re looking for more help and I was just fired. This is nutz and I’m not taking it.” But what to do was the question.
What began last spring as an adventure has turned into research about leadership from the bottom up. There is so much more to learn.
Placido didn’t stand up for me as a good employee, well trained, and training Princesses as they come on board. Tall Boss didn’t fire me to my face. Tall Boss knew from my requests to be off that my company was having an event on the 27th and scheduled me anyway.
Several days after the ketchup hit the fan, I called Tall Boss and told him my scheduling dilemma. “I was scheduled to work on the 27th. My company is having an event where my attendance is mandatory. Just like you have to be at each game. How can we work this out?” I asked.
His voice indicated he was unusually calm. He replied “That’s a Tuesday. It’s usually not a busy night. Don’t worry. I can cover for you.” Being one to jump on desired outcomes I said “So you want me to come in on Wednesday the 28th? To work as scheduled?”
“Yea. Come in. You’re covered for Tuesday.” Tall Boss verified.
Mission accomplished. And that’s the whole story.
How did that happen? Here’s the rest of the story.
“This is bologna. I’m not standing for this.” I heard myself say. “They’re looking for more help and I was just fired. This is nutz and I’m not taking it.” But what to do was the question.
What began last spring as an adventure has turned into research about leadership from the bottom up. There is so much more to learn.
Placido didn’t stand up for me as a good employee, well trained, and training Princesses as they come on board. Tall Boss didn’t fire me to my face. Tall Boss knew from my requests to be off that my company was having an event on the 27th and scheduled me anyway.
Several days after the ketchup hit the fan, I called Tall Boss and told him my scheduling dilemma. “I was scheduled to work on the 27th. My company is having an event where my attendance is mandatory. Just like you have to be at each game. How can we work this out?” I asked.
His voice indicated he was unusually calm. He replied “That’s a Tuesday. It’s usually not a busy night. Don’t worry. I can cover for you.” Being one to jump on desired outcomes I said “So you want me to come in on Wednesday the 28th? To work as scheduled?”
“Yea. Come in. You’re covered for Tuesday.” Tall Boss verified.
Mission accomplished. And that’s the whole story.
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